Why has Johnny Depp been rehabilitated, but Amber Heard annihilated?

Depp emerged from the wreckage with nothing more than superficial bruising, while Heard — whom the UK legal system originally believed — was crushed and mangled

Johnny Depp poses for photographers upon arrival at the opening ceremony and the premiere of the film 'Jeanne du Barry' at the 76th international film festival, Cannes. Picture:  Vianney Le Caer/Invision/AP

As an adult of sound mind, and with stuff like climate catastrophe and interest rates occupying significant chunks of it (your mind, that is) you might not have a great deal of thinking space left over for celebrity carry on. Focusing on the minutiae of overpaid randoms is best left to TMZ and E! Online — you’ve got more important things to think about, right?

And then something lands that despite your best efforts to direct your attention elsewhere (Will Cyril Ramaphosa really broker a deal between Putin and Zelensky? Is it going to rain later? What’s for lunch?) your focus is yanked like a frock caught in a door.