Edel Coffey: How to be kind and give a compliment without commenting on people's bodies

"Even if we think we are complimenting someone, we may be touching on sensitive areas or reinforcing damaging ideas about our bodies."

Picture: Bríd O'Donovan

I was at an event recently and bumped into a friend who I hadn’t seen for a while. She looked great, and had also clearly lost weight. I told her how well she looked and complimented her on the weight loss.

As soon as it was out of my mouth, I wanted to kick myself. Why couldn’t I have stopped at the “you look great” part of the comment? I felt ashamed and regretful because what I know, from experience, is that telling someone that they look great because they have lost weight comes with a whole minefield of tiny cultural inferences that have potentially massive impacts.