Colm O'Regan: The kids' activities have turned me into a PA to tiny CEOs

"But the thing about children is, you sort of want to do nice things for them. Despite yourself. And you need to keep them occupied. And slowly as the two have become hardier, the activities have crept in."

Colm O'Regan: wasn't a regular fixture at Dripsey's after-school activities. Photograph Moya Nolan

You can say you won’t be like all the others, but you’re probably wrong. Parenthood is just a long sequence of realising that most things you say about parenthood in advance are total horse manure.

The food you thought they’d eat… ha! The balanced diet of colourful natural ingredients. The gods laughed. You wake up one day and you’re bribing them with sweets in the hope of getting them to eat beige-breadcrumbed meat-slurry.