Suzanne Harrington: 'Why are they offering me a mineral? Do I look rundown?'
Daughter is visiting the fam in Ireland for the first time in plague ages, and has lots of questions. Starting with one which sounds like a maths riddle: if a plane leaves Gatwick airport and the flight takes an hour, why does the journey to Cork take a whole day? I explain about Cork airport being shut because they’re painting the bollards or something. Why couldn’t they have done that during lockdown, she wonders, seeing as it was outdoors anyway – couldn’t it have counted as exercise?
Before I can convolute a feasible explanation – not that I can find one that logically explains an airport shut down straight after a global shut down, just when everyone is gagging to get going again – she wants to know why is everyone still wearing masks and acting as if Covid is still a major thing. Or, she adds, why in the UK are we not? Because Brexit won’t let the virus in, I suggest weakly. I don’t know, ask Boris.
