Colm O'Regan: Porridge is an essential part of my morning smugness routine

One of my earliest memories is sitting at the table, not wanting to eat it, and heaping sugar onto a rapidly cooling bowl of porridge watching it caramelise 

Porridge didn’t try to win me over with plastic-free gifts like Kelloggs did.

I blame Kidnapped. Sometimes a book can put you off a food. Kidnapped is one of the books Robert Luis Stevenson wrote that isn’t Treasure Island. And in the first few chapters of the book, a lot of porridge is eaten. 

Not the splash of fruit compote, pat-your-slim-tummy, nudge your sexy partner playfully, dash for the train, go to work at a Hedge Fund, joyful healthy porridge of advertising campaigns.