Alison Curtis: the importance of an after-school routine

Pic: Marc O'Sullivan

We talk a lot about the importance of morning time and bedtime routines but one part of the day that can cause problems around back-to-school for children is the transition from the busy classroom back to the household.

Certainly, when Joan was younger she could have meltdowns once we got home. They didn’t happen often, but when they did happen they hit in spells. It was a highly-charged situation, of both of us being exhausted and low in coping reserves.

Speaking to friends over the years, they have also said that at times their children find shifting gear from school to home life at the end of the day challenging.

Kids are using up so much energy concentrating, participating, learning, and playing at school that at the end of the day they are often running on empty. Sitting still and listening for long periods of time also requires a lot of effort which again can be exhausting.

Children really need a post-school routine that works for them. For some, it involves running free or bouncing on a trampoline and for others, it is being in a quiet, calm space. We know our kids best and it is our job to create an after-school environment that suits them best to help them decompress.

I completely appreciate that this is a hard thing to achieve with parents still at work or taking kids to all sorts of after-school activities but I do think most children need assistance and support after school to press reset.

I know I didn’t consider this many times when Joan started school. I just took for granted when I got her she was happy and we could just get on with things and that is when the meltdowns would happen. Instead what I really should have been doing was checking in with her needs and finding the things that would set her up after school.

I recently had Dr. Mary O’Kane on my show to talk about this very issue. As always she is a beacon of information she said the first thing to do is feed and water. Like with all of us, we can’t cope if we are thirsty or hungry. 

Next, it is to let them pick the activity that they are drawn to. Again it might be super frantic to wipe out all the built-up energy or an activity that brings them back to a calm space.

Something else that came up with Dr. Mary and it is a common mistake that I have made throughout the years with Joan, is expecting a full rundown of the day's events from her at the school gates. I would often fire a million questions at Joan as soon as I collected her and then get disappointed with one-word answers.

Most children just want that space to digest the day's events. This doesn’t mean having mom or dad in their face with endless questions. It means playing blaring the radio on the car journey home, sitting in quiet or talking about something completely different.

I know in most cases children starting sharing the days events at the end of the day, around storytime. More and more bits from the day come out and it isn’t a pressurised situation and they are free to share.

The other big element of an after-school routine I think is finding the right time in the day that suits your child best to do homework. Over the years I have had so many conversations about battles over homework which in so many cases get resolved when families find the time of day that works for all of them.

From the time Joan was in first class we found that she was good to go after the feeding, watering, and a short time on her iPad or TV. If we left it too late in the evening, that is when we would run into trouble.

We are all just getting back into the swing of things once again, and I know that having a good after-school plan in place makes evenings in our household much more enjoyable!