Suzanne Harrington: 'Covid restrictions have all ended in tiers. Happy Weirdmas, everyone'

And so this is Christmas. Kind of. As the UK government continues to make it up as it goes along, urging residents to go out but stay at home, meet people but don’t meet people, have a Scotch egg with your ten pints because that makes you Covid proof, go shopping but try not to breathe inside any of the shops, send your kids and teens to school but keep them locked up afterwards, go for a fanny wax but don’t visit your granny, the UK Covid Christmas message is as mixed as a bag of nuts.

It has all ended in tiers. Although Eid was cancelled with just 24 hours notice earlier this summer, this would incur the foaming wrath of the right wing media were the UK government to do this on Christmas Eve – so instead we are urged to stay in our bubble and simultaneously mix with other bubbles while somehow hoping that that bigger bubbles won’t cause granny to pop (her clogs) by New Year.