Alison Curtis: Help! How do I get my daughter to practise her piano lessons?

Alison Curtis

A few days ago my daughter and I had an absolute meltdown, both of us, over piano practice. It was a battle of wills and really rather unpleasant.

So what does any good parent do? I took to Instagram to ask other parents for their advice, which I will share in a moment. We started piano lessons nearly two years ago when my daughter Joan was 7. It started out really well. She loved her teacher and the novelty of learning to play and she progressed really well.

You could see she was excited to learn something new and was proud of herself when she recognised she was getting better. But like almost everything in life, this has all come to a grounding halt since lockdown part two.

Whenever I “request” that she sit down and practice for 10 minutes it is met with a powerful negative reaction and a list of reasons why she can’t do it at that exact moment. Then when she does eventually sit-down there is a whole lot of moaning and a whimsical effort. She will do one song once and claim “That’s it, I’ve done it!”

My twin sister and I started lessons around age seven as well and only stuck with it for a year. My parents obviously got tired of paying a pretty sum of money towards something that wasn’t progressing. So we went off and did skating, swimming, gymnastics and a whole slew of other things  we enjoyed and excelled at. However, something piqued my interest in learning an instrument again when I was 11 and I went back to piano.

I learned through the Suzuki method which is you are supposed to learn to play by ear but my teacher spotted in me that I was better off learning by reading music instead.

So for the next seven years, I did blended learning and finished my grade 8 exams. Throughout those years, however, there were defiantly times when I fell out of love with playing and practiced very little (which was obvious to my teacher!) But I always came back to it. It was the jumping-off point for me to learn drums and guitar and be in a number of different bands in secondary school and university.

I loved it, I loved music and was passionate about it. I had so much fun in band practice, writing songs and playing gigs. It was amazing for my confidence and I am pretty sure all of that started with my 11-year-old self in front of a piano. So back to the advice I got from other parents. Many said that they too are in the middle of these weekly arguments begging their children to practice their instruments. Others are out the other side and all of them say it is well worth persevering. The best piece of advice I got was to not go down the exam route of learning, which we aren’t at the moment so that box is ticked. It becomes too much pressure and too much like an extension of school.

Another piece of valuable advice was to have Joan learn to play popular songs. We started learning the instrumental opening of Truth Hurts by Lizzo, one of Joan’s favourites, and she got really into it. We also went back to one of the songs her teacher wanted her to learn, the Can Can, but only if I promised to dance along to her playing. It was a struggle for me (and awful to look at) but anything to get her to practice.

So we are going to keep at it, but it is clear  I will have to be inventive in my ways of getting her actually sit down and practice. I have to make it fun and not a chore. I feel she has a talent for it and who knows where it could lead her?