Alison Curtis: I'm so glad sharing my birth story is helping others with their healing

Alison Curtis

Over the past number of weeks we have been going through absolutely everything in the house and decided what is going into storage and what we are willing to part with. Anyone who goes through the process of packing up a home after years in it, knows it brings up lots of emotions.

You really realise what you value and what things are important to you when you have to take a house apart and decide what is worth packing up again and storing.

For me there are a few items of clothing, (the t-shirt of the band my husband was in when we met), pretty much anything my daughter Joan has ever drawn and, most of all, photographs.
They are the most important things to me, that visual catalogue of my life and going through old boxes have really thrown up so many brilliant memories. I have found loads from the first few years after I moved to Ireland, it is a visual story of me making my life here and the making of friends who are still very much part of my life.

There are 25th birthday parties, 30th birthday parties, gig photos, launches, Christmas parties, weddings and births, they are all in there.

I was struck however when I came across a small number of Joan’s arrival and of our time in the Rotunda hospital how much those photos affected me. They were tough to look at, really tough. As the first few days of Joan’s life were the most terrifying of my life.

I have told the story in this column before but in many ways the more you talk about trauma, they can become just words. It is when you see the pictures that the memories can overwhelm you.

The story behind this pic up on @instagram @AlisonTodayFM #shareyourstory pic.twitter.com/jejMjKzlhw

— alison curtis (@AlisonTodayFM) September 28, 2020

Joan arrived 3 weeks early, we had been in for a routine appointment when they became very concerned over my blood pressure and admitted me for observation. I was due to be at work to present my show and instead 3 hours later, my little girl had arrived. It was an out of body whirlwind experience of me suffering an abruption due to preeclampsia and needing an emergency cesarean to get Joan out safely.

I told the story for the first time in full-on Instagram and shared some of the pictures last Sunday night. I went to bed and when I woke up I had so many messages it took the best part of a day to respond to them. All of them from women and all of them saying thank you for sharing the story.

Nearly every single woman who responded had suffered some sort of trauma while having a child. I did have a handful of lovely messages from women who thankfully had wonderful experiences in childbirth and were just passing along sweet notes. But the majority of women said they had appreciated me sharing the story as they felt the honest stories around childbirth are so rarely told.

We need to be able to tell our stories openly and feel that shared bond I think in order to recover from shock. It is human nature to get comfort from knowing someone else can empathise. It’s women like me I feel who have some acceptance and coping skills a few years on from the experience who can hopefully help others whereby the trauma is current.

We are strong and mothers are amazing and in time the immediate reactions to birth do subside. But if you are struggling and feel you can’t cope please do seek help and please never feel shamed or that you can’t share your story with others.