Colm O'Regan: Legends of LinkedIn

It's not good enough to learn new skills these days, you need to let others know you have them via social media

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In a world hungry for instant notification, most of the time I have nothing new to report. Repeated checking of Facebook responses, Twitter mentions and the email inbox mean I rarely get the pleasure of uncovering a back-log of news.

But today I’ve forgotten to check LinkedIn. For those of you who have somehow managed to live your lives without being pleased to announce something, LinkedIn is a social network like Twitter or Facebook. 

But instead of Facebook where people have opinions coming out every orifice of their body, mostly LinkedIn is about people being “delighted to join a new team”. 

There are very few people sharing conspiracy theories on LinkedIn about 5G causing Covid or masks causing 5G. 

But if you do find anyone there sharing conspiracy theories it’s probably best not to hire them for that plumbing job or ‘holistic 360-degree business transformation’. Because they’ll keep you all day with Talk and the job will most likely be done with tin foil.

But LinkedIn does have notifications. A friendly little red square with the number one in it at the top of my profile. I lap them up as if I’d just found that chocolate I’d squirrelled away on top of the cupboard in the hope I’d forget it. (Never works)

It’s a bit of let-down. The notification is an endorsement. You see, LinkedIn allows you to put on your profile a skill that you’re good at. 

Then people can endorse you. Meaning they think you have that skill. They don’t sign the back of you or give you penalty points.

My most recent endorsement was for the skill of Journalism. In fact, 13 people have endorsed me for this skill. This should put your mind at ease, knowing that you’re in safe hands.

It’s a bit of a hollow feeling though. Anyone can endorse you for anything on LinkedIn. Last week, someone endorsed me for Content management but I can barely manage myself at the best of times.

And for all the endorsements I’ve received, one skill goes conspicuously un-vouched for. Java. The computer language. When I started my job-job 20 years ago, it was THE skill to have. The techies were naturals, picked it up with no fear. 

They solved problems. You languished at your computer being stupid, they came along, fixed it and walked away whistling. Their skills gave them confidence, their confidence meant they learned quickly, didn’t worry, made less mistakes. Which made them even more expert. It was a positive feedback loop.

If it were Game of Thrones, those with the techie skills would be one of the Guild of Assassins - the Faceless men, like Jaqn Hghar. 

While I was Samwell Tarly, the portly exile stumbling through the snow constantly afraid. Sensitive and empathetic, I might only kill a White Walker/fix a problem by accident.

In my job-job, after a few years, we portly terrified Samwell Tarlys were guided gently but firmly towards the softer skills – planning and status reporting and worrying.

Soft Skills are important too but I’ve found that the people who were good at them were also good at the hard stuff too – because of the confidence they had. A technically good sellsword can be an effective negotiator, I suppose.

In my job-job there always came a moment when I had to admit to the client “look I don’t know, let me ask Jaqn Hghar – they’ll sort it out.” No questions asked.

As a comedian, I’ve learned some hard skills, there are relatively less Jaqn Hghhars around so I’ve a bit more confidence to pretend I can do other things.

That’s why my profile on LinkedIn now boasts the new skills of Legend, Hero and Vanquisher of Evil. I await your endorsement.