Nadiya Hussain: I've had to teach myself boundaries over the last few years
Nadiya Hussain: I used to put a use by date on my career. I didn’t believe that I deserved it.
I grew up in a family of six, four sisters and two brothers. We lived in the heart of Luton, with my mum and dad. The extended family were all considered family too. In total, I think there was something like 50 of us. My grandma partially raised us. It was a big family. We used to live in this lovely terraced house with train tracks at the back. It was a lovely childhood.
My earliest memory is my mum leaving me at nursery. I must have been four and I remember crying hysterically. I wasn't a mummy's girl, but I remember just crying saying ‘I want my mummy’ and I remember I hit the teacher!
My marriage to my husband Abdal was semi-arranged by our parents. They worked together as teenagers and got in contact again years later. We were talking to each other for about six months because we decided to get married. We have two boys and a girl together. Musa and Dawud, will be 15 and 16 soon, and my baby, Maryam, will be 12 in a couple of weeks.
One of my greatest challenges in life is that I am a giver. Honestly, if somebody said ‘can I have your left arm?’, I'd find a way of giving that left arm. I've had to teach myself boundaries over the last few years. One thing I've learned about creating boundaries is that there's a loneliness that comes with them that you have to be ready for. As an empath, as a giver, I very much take on people's emotions. Rather than worrying about my own emotions, I worry more about what other people are feeling. And in in doing that I take away from myself.
When I won the Great British Bake Off, at the very beginning I would say to myself, 'I'm just really lucky' and 'this will all be over next year.' I used to put a use by date on my career. I didn’t believe that I deserved it.
I've had to change that mindset. Rather than constantly telling myself that I'm lucky, that I'm grateful for the opportunity, why not say, I’m good at what I do, this space was created for me? Why don't I say that? This is my space. This is where I belong. When you change the narrative, it really does help how you see yourself in that place. And actually, by changing that narrative, it's made me so much more confident and competent in my job.
There have been a lot of proud achievements, before and after Bake Off, but as as a daughter of an immigrant and a first-generation Brit, getting an MBE has to be one of my biggest achievements. Had my granddads been alive, they would have been really proud of that. They would have worn the pin themselves.
My greatest quality is that I love hard. If you get into my circle. I will give you all of my love. My husband and my kids sometimes say it's too much. They have to tell me to stop because I give too much of myself. I am big on loving.
The person I turn to most in my life is me. I racked my brain to think of an answer to the question 'who do I turn to?' and it's me. I have the answers. We all have the answer. You have it, I have it. Everyone has it. We have the answer. It's just about knowing how to look for it. And sometimes you have to go through turmoil and tears and difficult questions and digging up things that you don't want to think about. But ultimately, you're the one that has the answer, nobody can give you the answer. And that's something I've learned the hard way.
The life lesson I'd like to pass on to my children is elbows out. Learn to create space for yourself so you can create space for others.
The greatest advice I've ever been given is never go to bed angry. And if you do, don't send any text messages, keep your phone far, far away.
I would like to be remembered as someone who started on a path that didn't end with me.
My kids are the biggest sources of surprise in my life. There are moments where they are typical teenagers, but occasionally they really, really surprise me and I kind of go, ‘oh, I did good!’The other day, my little girl was shouting and I said, 'why are you shouting?' She just looked at me and said 'because I have a voice.' That stopped me in my tracks. For me, that was quite poignant. I wish I had that confidence at 11.
The thing that scares me most in life is death. The older you get and the more time you have to build relationships and love and make those connections, the more difficult it becomes. We recently lost my sister-in-law who was 34 and that really, really scared me. It just makes you realize that death doesn't discriminate. It can get any one of us at any time. It really frightened me. She is my first thought in the morning, every single day. I think it will be that way for a long time.
If I took a different fork in the road, and I hadn’t entered Bake Off, I would have been a social worker. If none of this works out, I will go back and become a social worker.
