Restaurant review: The Garden Room Restaurant, Malton Hotel, Killarney
It is not though entirely a relic of ’oul decencey but that ’oul decency writ largish and kicking — albeit gently — in today’s world.
The grand scale of the room is a statement in itself; ornately plastered and painted ceilings that must be the best part of 30 feet high, tall windows four or five times the size of the standard doors in today’s houses and a carpet so rich that it feels as if you’re walking across a squelching but secure bog on the lower slopes of the nearby McGillycuddy’s Reeks.
If the Kingdom had an aristocracy they might well dine here, cossetted by batallions of liveried and patiently-nodding staff all in a reassuring atmosphe of calm, conservatism and an all’s-well-in-our-world karma that even a modern room of similar proportions — though I can’t remember ever seeing one — would struggle to replicate.
It seems a place in need of a resident dowager to nibble a piece of turbot cooked in Champagne while barely acknowledging the Keeper of the Queen’s Swans or maybe the Pantler of Caherdaniel who may have managed to snatch one of the less prominent tables in the room’s shadowy corners.
Indeed, as the hotel’s carefully framed autobiography sitting on a sideboard in the passage leading to the restaurtant tells us it has a history of hosting aristocracy — including, impressively, the Queen of Tonga.
Above it and to the left, and almost like a well hidden clue in a bank holiday weekend treasure hunt, is a handwritten note — with a biro, not a fountain pen, disconcertingly — from Taoiseach Enda Kenny thanking the hotel and its staff for their attention during a recent visit.
Such a theatre demands a grand performance from the kitchen, but by today’s standards — standards not fashions — the food was the least impressive part of the evening.
It would certainly not have satisfied even a moderately tiresome dowager.
Not only did the food veer far too close to being pretty underwhelming, the menu offered on the Friday evening we visited was far more limited and far less ambitious than the sample menu posted online. Disappointment Number 1.
DW — as ever — opened with a standard dish, so simple and well-used for so very long that it has all but become a rarity — melon and Parma ham.
It was exactly that, no more, no less. I opted for a dish that sounded far better than it was — a salad of ray wings.
It was a piece of nicely poached ray, hardly two tablespoons, on a bed of jaded, undressed lettuce, capers and yellowing parsley. Disappointment Number 2.
For her main course DW chose bass and she enjoyed it. A generous piece of fish — even though just half a fillet — with matchsticks of apple and a rich, bass-line of creamy parsnip puree. It was the plate of the evening.
I chose a steak if for no reason other than than the alternatives — other than the bass — hardly seemed worth the two-hour plus round trip to Killarney. It was so thinly cut that if it was to have been served as requested — rare — it would have had just moments on the pan.
It, however, had what seemed considerably more and came cloaked in one of those gravies that raise suspicions in all lovers of good beef. Disappointment Number 3.
The desserts — a cheescake and something that purported to be Eaton mess — were not at all on a par with the setting.
The cheescake was so cold as to be almost tasteless and the Eaton mess was like a dodge a mid-table boarding school might concoct for a gala occasion. Disappointment Number 4.
The wine was, however, comforting. A bottle of Italian red — Gianni Gagliardo, Paulin Dolcetto d’Alba 2012 at €35 — was far better than its online reviewers suggested.
The Malton is primarily a hotel and the evening we visited it hosted a wedding party and what seemed a good number of guests, so it may be slightly unfair to compare it to today’s better restaurants.
If, however, the food matched the surroundings it would be comparable with anything, and that was the greatest disappointment of all. Perhaps it also explained why barely one-in-five of the the restaurant tables were taken.
The tab
Dinner for two — a set three courses costs €45 — and wine cost €125, tip extra.
The Verdict
5/10
9/10
7/10
5/10
A very grand setting matched by the service but not the food.
The Malton, Town Centre, Killarney, Co Kerry; tel: 064-6638000, www.themalton.com
