The Beckham wedding... Finally, auld Lehane discloses what he saw that night

Denis Lehane follows Brooklyn Beckham's Insta post with his own bombshell revelations about THAT first dance — but it's not what you might expect. Of course, it's this week's Lighten Up

Thu, 05 Feb, 2026 - 18:26

Denis Lehane

Now, before I begin, let me stress that my sight isn’t too good and my memory isn’t what it used to be.

So, please bear this in mind as I recall the Beckham wedding — that’s the Beckhams of West London now — the ones that everyone is talking about.

I was there, of course, for like many more well-known types from track and field, I was invited to the big day.

Happily, there to celebrate in the joining together of the Beckham and Peltz families in holy matrimony.

The invitation had come some weeks earlier.

Dear Denny, Mr David Beckham and Mrs Posh Spice hereby invite you to their eldest boy’s wedding. RSVP ASAP.

Yerra, t’was written with gold ink and was very swanky indeed.

I had never seen the likes of it before, nor would I again.

I replied: “Of course I would like to go, for what else would I be doing?”

Long story short, I hired out the finest suit of all time, got the boat to England, and was soon sitting next to the likes of Charles De Gaulle at the wedding of the century. With the formalities over, the meal arrived as promptly as be damned. Nobody was left waiting.

“Full marks, Mr Beckham and Posh!” I roared.

And damn nice the grub was too. We were treated to the finest of cuisine.

We were licking our lips as soon as it arrived, and rubbing our bellies not long after it had gone down the hatch.

With the meal behind us, most went for a walk to work off the feed.

I wandered aimlessly down the town for a spell.

Brooklyn Beckham caused fierce kerfuffle when he shared goss and pictures from his wedding day on Instagram. Here he is with his dad, David Beckham. Denis Lehane is not in this photo, and is possibly just behind that curtain over there on the right. Picture: Brooklyn Beckham/Instagram/Vogue

When I came back, the dancing was just about to begin.

So now we are finally here. The dancing. The nub of the matter.

The whole point of my writing today.

And what was Mrs Beckham like? Did she make a holy show of herself?

First dance with Denis

Well, to be honest, if I recall correctly, the first person she danced with was myself ... Auld Lehane.

Knowing full well that I have the feet of Michael Flatley, from my years of avoiding cows’ hooves in the milking stall, she picked the perfect dance partner.

No toes were trod on as we raced through The Siege of Ennis, followed by The Walls of Limerick.

Indeed, she was in high praise of my footwork, complimenting me on my shiny new shoes, which I had picked up in Macroom that very morning. Posh doesn’t miss a trick.

Then Posh told me that she was now a dressmaker by profession, who did alterations on the side. “That’s where the big money is,” says she.

If ever you need your trousers adjusted, well then, I’m your woman.

Posh couldn’t have been more charming.

And, if I recall correctly, but I have been wrong before, I did mention that I had a pair of trousers that had become too tight for me since the previous Christmas festivities.

“Problem solved!” says she with a smile.

Burger and chips voucher was 'for soakage' said Mrs Beckham

Anyhow, the next memory I have of the evening is of the bride and groom being bounced into the air like two lightweight springs.

I was after a good few pints at this stage, so I’m not 100% sure where I was.

After that, every guest was handed a One For All voucher.

A voucher which entitled the holder to a free burger and chips at a local takeaway.