Lighten Up: Why our Auld Lehane reckons Taylor Swift could get married in Ireland

I never thought we'd be complaining about cattle being too expensive, but here we are, writes Denis in this week's Lighten Up.

Loved up: Travis Kelce celebrates with Taylor Swift after the Chiefs won the AFC Championship Game. Picture: Jamie Squire/Getty Images

Well, I must have blown my nose 1,000 times when I heard the news that Taylor Swift had gotten engaged.

And when I saw the picture, sure, I blew it 1,000 times more. Not since the days of Imperial Call winning The Gold Cup, had I been so emotional.

And in Macroom on Wednesday, at the sheep sale, not surprisingly, Taylor and Travis were the talk of the place. One old-timer I met seemed to know all about them. He was a proper Swiftie.

Indeed, the hard-of-hearing individual ventured so far as to suggest that the newly engaged couple may get married right here in Ireland!

"In Gougane," he roared, loud enough for all to hear.

"What?!" says I, rubbing my ears in disbelief.

"Yes," says he. "The rumour was very strong in Ballingeary last night, that she will marry in Gougane. And that the reception will be back in Joe Creedon's place in Inchigeela, or someplace like that."

My friend was all news.

"Someplace where you can hear some folklore and have a right good sing-song," he added.

This, of course, all sounded too good to be true, but there was more.

Tis all a bit up in the air at the moment. Tis a bit like the lamb trade here today

And how right he was. The store lamb trade in Macroom on Wednesday was on fire. But sure, what choice do us farmers have?

Irish connection

With bullock prices gone through the roof, the lamb is the only thing left that we can turn to in an effort to keep the grass down.

I never thought we'd be complaining about cattle being too expensive, but here we are.

Anyhow back to Miss Swift, for as talk went on Wednesday, t'was hard to "shake it off".

He then told me that such an event was bound to be considered, given the connection between Taylor Swift and Gougane Barra.

"What connection?" I queried, looking rightly bamboozled.

"T'anam an diabhail!" says he, "Sure isn't Gougane already famous for being the home of The Tailor and Ansty, so wouldn't it be the perfect venue entirely for The Taylor and Mr Kelce."

I had never thought about that before I hadn't seen the connection. My friend was a genius.

His eyesight might be failing, but he was still seeing the full picture.

"And what about the honeymoon?" I asked, for he seemed to know everything now.

"It will be in Killarney for sure," he roared. "That's where all the yanks go."

"Money is no object," he quipped, which I really think nobody could dispute.

'If, like me, you now suspect that Taylor Swift will get married in Ireland, don't forget where you heard it first,' says auld Lehane.

And with many now concerned perhaps about renting a suit for the big day, I asked if he had any idea when the Taylor Swift wedding would take place?

"In early May of next year," he replied. "Before the silage begins and while the roads are still fairly quiet.

Sure t'would be madness to have it any later

My pal was on a roll. He had it all figured out down to the last detail.

"There are no flies on Taylor Swift," says he. "There are no flies on you either," I replied.

And with that he got up, for his own few sheep had now come into the ring. Hobbling away, he promised that we would probably meet again at the wedding of the century.

So there you have it. The scoop of a lifetime, obtained in the most unusual of places.

If, like me, you now suspect that Taylor Swift will get married in Ireland, don't forget where you heard it first.

You heard it from auld Lehane, the man who was very swift off the mark.