Denis Lehane: Katy Perry's love of d'paper

There is nothing singing sensation Katy Perry likes better than reading a newspaper.
Denis Lehane: Katy Perry's love of d'paper

Katy Perry attends The 56th Annual CMA Awards at Bridgestone Arena on November 09, 2022 in Nashville, Tennessee. Picture: Jason Kempin/Getty Images

There is nothing singing sensation Katy Perry likes better than reading a newspaper.

And this is great news, for there is nothing I like more than writing for a newspaper.

"One of my favourite sounds ever," says she "is the crisp new sound of a newspaper being read over breakfast."

Very tasty Katy, I like your style.

"The popping out of it, the folding, the scribbling on the crossword...."

Excellent again, but I wouldn't go mad entirely. For you see while the newspaper is perfect in so many ways, it is not without its faults.

One of the major causes of marital discourse in this very house comes from my habit of holding onto old newspapers, for what I call "research purposes".

I never throw them away. Never.

When in conversation with a neighbour or visitor, I may sometimes scramble off to find an old newspaper in an effort to support a story I'm recalling. It may be the story of a high court action or the victory of a greyhound at Curraheen park.

Either way, I can very often be seen running from the visitor to a stash of old newspapers in an effort to salvage the true facts of the case.

And pity the poor woman, child, or indeed the Pope himself, if I discover that one, or all three of them have flung this particular newspaper into the hereafter, thinking it was of no more use to anybody, and not realising it was invaluable to the likes of me.

Katy Perry may have encountered the same problem. I'd love to ask her sometime.

"But how am I going to find out the truth now?" I will wail on the discovery that a specific newspaper from last July got the bin in September.

If ever I end up in the divorce courts, I feel it will be on account of old newspapers.

Anyhow, regarding the statement of Katy Perry on the subject of newspapers, while it doesn't surprise me in the least that she adores newspapers, alas the article doesn't go into specifics. What I mean to say is, I never discovered what newspaper she likes. We all have our favourites.

So, I can only presume it's the Irish Examiner and specifically, Thursday's edition with the added bonus of the farming section, that Ms Perry is referring to.

A section where the likes of Katy Perry, Harry Styles, or indeed Lizzo herself, could read all about the happenings on Irish farms - a chance for pop stars to get vital updates on livestock markets, prices and trends.

The amount of farming information contained could keep a pop sensation satisfied for hours as they fill the time between shows in Las Vegas, or perhaps when travelling at high speed from one sold-out destination to the next.

And better again, with the farming section now a very manageable size, even when on the tour bus and opening the paper fully, there would be no danger of poking your neighbour in the eye with a stray elbow.

'Tis no wonder then that Ms Perry hails the power of the paper, clinging onto it as she does, for insightful commentary, and well-articulated opinion pieces.

With a crispy newspaper tucked under her arm, she's ahead of the posse, and with regards to farming news stories, there will never be "the one that got away".

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