Denis Lehane: The return of the heartbreaker

I explained to the lady that I was a bit like the weather-beaten banana I held proudly in my hand.

"Oh me or my, you make me sigh, you're such a good-looking man," Joe Dolan could well have sung back in the day - had he known me.

There is no point in denying it any longer. I am a frightfully good-looking man (as you have probably guessed from admiring my picture week after week).