Ladies please go away and leave this small space free for the exclusive attention of us besieged menfolk today.
Go away, for heaven’s sake, and let us grieve alone for a little while.
Because there is nothing here that ye do not know already and have been silently relishing for the past five years.
So please go away now.
Lads, now that they have left us alone, I have to confess that I am absolutely shattered by a truth that was revealed to me in this week when our new species of government is already tottering daily and when the future looks bleak indeed.
Some of you might need to sit down or pull into the hard shoulder before we go any further.
I’ve coined a new word to describe our problem and here it is now.
We do not dwell in a democracy any more.
We live in a powerful “femocracy” and we are surrounded on every side by gloating femocrats who have ghosted in to rob the men of Ireland of all the political, social and economic power that once was ours by right of birth.
Sadly the pure truth yet again.
Think about it and see how totally I am correct.
At time of writing our top policeman is Commissioner Noirín O’Sullivan.
The Minister for Justice is Frances Fitzgerald,
The Attorney General is female and so are half of the top judges in the land.
The Chief Whip of our unique new Government is Regina Doherty and many of the obvious power positions in the Cabinet are in the possession of the femocrats too.
Though Gerry Adams, as always, will deny it, the facts are that he is now merely the titular and temporary leader of Sinn Féin and Mary Lou McDonald projects more powerfully over his shoulder every day.
On the benches of the House nobody is more feared than the formidable Claire Daly. Am I correct there?
But that is only a fraction of the realities of this femocracy. It is a European reality.
When this strange Government lands us in the red again we will be at the mercy once more of Christine Lagarde of the IMF and she will show no mercy.
Neither will Angela Merkel of Germany and the likely new President Clinton of the USA will have no mercy on us at all.
Up in Ulster the steely Arlene Foster of the Unionist Party is able to keep even Martin McGuinness in his secondary place, the Northern Secretary of State is another very formidable female.
Across the water Nicola Sturgeon of the SNP will yet likely lead the Scots to independence, and when you get right down to stiff upper lips and brass tacks the eternal Queen Elizabeth is still the English boss who sees prime ministers come and go and makes them all look like naughty schoolboys.
Am I correct? Of course I am.
This local femocracy of ours displayed its strength dramatically this month in relation to the leadership issue for the Labour Party.
Of course brashly macho Alan Kelly was not acceptable to the femocrats who form the Labour rump, despite his record and ambition. Every rump has two cheeks as we all know.
Let’s agree that Joan the Moan controlled one cheek when the chips were down and Jan O’Sullivan the other cheek.
No trouble to them at all to express poor Alan Kelly in a blast of hot air and flush him down the political Swanee.
Brendan Howlin, not so macho, much more malleable, will be allowed to burn himself down to the bone trying to put new Labouring legs under the rump and, when the time is right, the femocrats will expel him too. Remember ye read it here first.
I could go on for much longer but I am running out of space. Suffice it to say that for my money none of the currently likely front running males in the succession race for Fine Gael when Enda departs are likely to best the powerful femocrats when that crunch eventually comes. Time will tell.
It is similar to the ongoing reality in Fianna Fáil where, even though there is a secure enough male leader for now, the traditional core values of the Soldiers of Destiny are still most forcefully articulated about every week by the allegedly retired Mary O’Rourke. Her contribution to her party is far from concluded.
Finally, to underline the point, our President has had a very demanding couple of months laying hundreds of wreaths up and down the land to commemorate the Rising.
Few of his speeches however attracted as much coverage as that generated by his wife Sabina’s single intervention on the issue of womens’ rights. The pure truth yet again and the Irish femocracy is still only getting into its stride.
What is going to happen to us menfolk at all?