Denis Lehane: Mr Magoo goes milking on April 1

“Denny, if you don’t stop, you’ll go blind,” warned Mrs Creedon, principal of the local school, on Friday. 

And my missus too was adamant that I conduct myself. But I carried on regardless of the women who surrounded me. I can be a damn fool sometimes.

Yes, I stared at the sun last Friday morning for the duration of the eclipse, curiosity getting the better of me. And by the finish I was left with the eyesight of Mr Magoo. I could see nothing.