Fighting over the CAP crumbs
Many people I meet, particularly those from a non-farming background, believe that I’m some class of a farming expert, because I write for a farming paper.
Well, nothing could be further from the truth. Indeed, the only thing I have learned about farming in the last couple of years is that I know very little.
I’m about as wise in farming as the Government is to the goings-on in the banking fraternity. As ignorant as can be, in other words.
But even I know that CAP funding is very important for farmers. I can help you, if you are one of the many who hasn’t a clue about it. Its all very straightforward really. “Why are farmers fighting amongst themselves over this EU money?” is a question I have been asked on numerous occasions.
“It’s all very complicated,” some say.
Well, it's not. Here is my take on CAP, and it’s not very complicated at all.
Imagine if you will a beautiful, kind and gentle mother who, whenever she goes to town, comes home with a delicious Black Forest gateau. This cake we will class as the CAP funding.
At home, she has two sons. The sons will represent us farmers. We will call the older boy Mutt, and the younger fellow Jeff.
Life for the pair has been good up to now, they have got along famously, always playing together and running after girls and so on and so forth.
And all their life, when Mother came home with the Black Forest gateau, they greeted her with unbridled joy. However in recent times, a change took place, and now the joy is gone.
You see, for years Mutt, the older boy, has been getting a right fine decent slice of cake. And good for him. He loves cake. Everyone loves cake. However, Jeff, on the other hand, always received a meagre slice. Why Mother decided to do this one is anybody’s guess. It all started a long time ago now. Anyway that’s the way she had done it, and everyone seemed happy.
The trouble really started when Mother remarked that she wanted to give Jeff an extra piece. She felt sorry for the poor boy.
But Mutt, the stronger fellow, was having none of it. He stormed off to his room on one occasion when there was talk of sharing the cake more evenly, slamming the door behind him in rage.
Mutt, slapping his ample belly, said he needs every bit of cake she was giving him. But Mother feels sorry of Jeff.
Jeff is no walk-over either, and in recent times, he has begun to kick Mutt’s sizeable backside whenever the opportunity is presented to him. And it is upsetting to Mother to see her two precious boys at loggerheads.
So now, when Mother comes home with her Black Forest cake, she is greeted not with joy but with stony silence, as the two boys eye up each other, ready to wage war. The thing is, Mother will not be around forever and, to be honest, she is getting a little tired of her bickering boys. And if truth be told, her bickering boys are closer to men at this stage, and should be able to work out a compromise.
Because of all the bickering, Mother in recent times has started an affair with the milkman, and she could very well one day climb on board his milk float and be gone for good.
Thus, leaving Mutt and Jeff to go about their business without any Black Forest cake whatsoever.
And that’s the CAP.
