"Hispanics voted to deport other Hispanics, white women voted to disempower themselves, their daughters and their daughters’ daughters, and black men voted against a black woman."

Self-care these days means turning your phone off and going for a walk

In the words of Trump himself this film is “a hatchet job made by human scum” — which is about as five-star a review as you could hope for

Just as older people look back on the 1950s as an extended song-and-dance scene from Grease rather than what Henry Miller termed “the air conditioned nightmare”, as a member of Gen X, I do the same in relation to the 1990s; I euphorically recall it. 

'Because is getting rat-arsed on Prosecco a human right? Or is doing your job without having to negatively navigate those rat-arsed on Prosecco more of a human right?'

We are realising that actually, giving a child a smartphone is not doing anyone – except tech companies – any favours.

"His only comment about cats seemed to be about eating them; not another cat-related sexual euphemism to make you retch into your handbag"

"I can’t even Google what to do because every spider article is illustrated with — yes — a big fat horrific photo of a spider. I literally can’t look at images of them."

Funny how it’s always girls who are accused of hysteria, as news of this latest reunion wets the knickers of dad-lads everywhere

"I’d expended lots of energy keeping him and his sister alive and well, and didn’t want sport to undo my good work. Play football, I urged him. Then you can throw yourself to the floor screaming if anyone touches you."