In a charity shop, I stumble across a copy of Barbara Cartland’s 1962 socio-cultural masterpiece, Etiquette Handbook: A Guide To Good Behaviour From The Boudoir To The Boardroom.

So retrograde has Mercury turned out to be that I have found it safer to remain mostly under the duvet, for fear of encountering confusion, delays and frustration, writes Suzanne Harrington

Behold, Stormy Daniels is risen! From behind an unsigned — therefore legally invalid — non-disclosure agreement, the porn star walks amongst men, making the orangest one squirm and quake in his handmade shoes.

You have a fantastic life. Not just averagely good, but really bloody good. You have a job that involves fooling about with your best friend on the telly, and getting paid tons of money for it, writes Suzanne Harrington. 

Ever wanted to know more about, say, Marxist ideas of alienation or the situationists, but couldn’t face reading actual Marxist or situationist theory? Well now you don’t have to, writes Suzanne Harrington.

What do women want? A report published in London just in time for International Women’s Day, asked 8,749 women this question.

Mother’s Day, like crinoline and the pay gap and sending your sons off to die in a war, belongs in the past, writes Suzanne Harrington

Have you ever done Malasana — squat pose, like you are peeing in the woods — while wearing track pants, asks Suzanne Harrington

Rose McGowan, presented as everything from a difficult woman to an unhinged harpy, has burned through such shaming, shouting her anger from the rooftops, writes Suzanne Harrington

In the interests of brevity, I’ll paraphrase: women would love to eat Doritos like men but are afraid of being judged as geezer-birds. Cue Lady Doritos