A GUY walks into a bar and shouts: “Drinks all around: my wife’s next in line for the Nobel Peace Prize!”

ONE of the mixed blessings travelling beyond our archipelago is that it’s hard to avoid American TV news. BBC World is frequently not available. Even when it is, their ‘cycle’ – the time it takes before they start repeating stories – is getting wearyingly short. Maybe it’s cutbacks.

ELECTRONIC voting has a long and rather chequered history in Ireland. Cost considerations aside, part of me rather likes pen and paper, disputed ballots and the drama of interminable counts.

ASSUMING the next crop of opinion polls is dire, it will soon be all over for Brian Cowen. A fish rots from the head down and Fianna Fáil knows it. He will go down in history as the party’s shortest-serving leader.

THERE is no excuse for the bad manners shown to Tony Blair when he went to Easons in Dublin to sign copies of his memoir, A Journey.

ISN’T hindsight a wonderful thing?

PRESIDENT Obama hopes the Middle East peace talks set to begin later this week could reach agreement within a year.

IF April is the cruellest month, then August is surely the dreariest. True, the sun might shine for a few days but not a whole lot happens. The news pipeline becomes thinner and thinner and threatens to taper off entirely.

THE appearance by Naomi Campbell and Mia Farrow at the Sierra Leone war crimes tribunal counts as one of the more bizarre events of recent times.

POOR Pakistan: only on the cricket field does it ever seem to have any luck.