"August to September is not, in my mind, a straight line, but the rounding of a 90-degree angle that brings me to an entirely new phase of the year."

"For each glorious moment spent clenching his fist and cackling at a sworn enemy, there would have been 10,000 flamboyantly tedious acts of admin. Eight emails about changing his password, or a dozen video calls with Blerg in accounting, for every minute he spent smiling on that throne."

Every Irish person has spotted a compatriot from distance on holiday, whether by their gormless expression or the fabled, anatomical marvel that is the “big Irish head”.

The truth is no one gets my name wrong more consistently than my own compatriots

There were two main flavours in the Ireland of my father’s youth; sweet and lard, and it was best to boil both away in water, in case a taste for either developed

Before Séamas O’Reilly starts his new weekly column in Weekend, he sat down with Jen Stevens to talk about that Twitter thread, the border and what he loves about home