THIS is a Europe-free zone today and not just because I am writing before the Roma match kicks-off (literally or figuratively).

THERE was a mild kerfuffle when the entire England cricket team were given MBEs by The Queen for winning The Ashes last year; commentators sniffed along the lines of ‘they hadn’t quite earned it yet, baby’.

THE goals may have been shared by others at Old Trafford on Saturday but few doubted whose name truly deserved to be branded onto the match’s memory; and on Monday, his penalty ensured that his almost-repeat stellar performance would be properly formalised by the scorecard-keepers.

WHO would have believed it: it seems we Reds are falling back in love with the FA Cup.

IT would be cheap and tired to suggest that Saturday made a nice change in Scousers complaining about being the victims of a robbery for once, so I will resist it.

LENT IS OFTEN a time for short tempers, as the faithful have to go without certain soothing things they have grown accustomed to and may thus react accordingly — and it’s certainly been a week when one is tempted to don the comedy Scouser wig before yabbering “Calm down! Calm down!”

DID alright last night, did we? Writing this on a Monday, all I see is this when I look at Lille: a mundane opposition, well off the pace in a poor league, who have only won 10 games all season and who have only scored 30 goals, without key players lost to injury and suspension.

MY favourite hack amongst the Sunday newspaper pack at Old Trafford is a chap called Simon Mullock on the Sunday Mirror, who is rarely found wanting when it comes to Mancunian football knowledge and banter, being a born and bred Manc. (Incidentally, he is well-known to Mr Kelly of these pages, who apparently frequently lambasts Mullock online for allegedly being anti-scouse and a Red.

WITH the typical charmlessness we have come to expect from the Blue bums, Chelsea’s website on Saturday announced John Terry’s return thus: “not since Napoleon’s return in 1815 has a comeback been as eagerly awaited as this.”

WHAT a top week for our SpudFacedNipper! On Monday, a court case involving an aged occasional prostitute collapsed, sparing him from the ordeal of having to appear as a witness.