GREETINGS from Lyon where, as I write on a Tuesday morning, the Rhone is sparkling in warm spring sunshine, the first aperitif of the day is agreeably enlivening, and we are still chuckling over the spiking of the Gunners on Saturday.

TWO things I never thought I would live to see happening on one day — City fans behaving like old school gents, and the Blues winning at Old Trafford.

ONE of the English tabloids did an amusing back page for once on Saturday, based on a picture of United players waiting for their train at Macclesfield, all hooded-up.

YOU can always tell the state of Man United corporate thinking from the ever-revolving and allegedly player-distracting pitchside ads at Old Trafford.

BEFORE I start: tell me, is it my turn to manage Newcastle United yet? No? Ah well, back to the day job, then.

REDS have found it difficult to decide who they have more contempt for at Barcode Park this season — Big Fat Sam Allardyce with his ever-open mouth and never-ending uselessness, or the whingeing Geordie muppet-fans and their perennial bloodlust for swinging victims from the Gallows-gate.

THAT’LL teach me to get all childishly excited about a cup tie, as I did in last week’s column: what a dreadful match, though credit must go to the travelling Reds who attempted to maintain the atmosphere despite the dire fare.

THE Glasgow Empire was legendary for its cutting treatment of entertainment that didn’t please. When the Mike and Bernie Winters twins took their comedy act into the scotch-fuelled lions’ den, Mike went on alone first for 10 tumble-weeded minutes before cueing up Bernie for his entrance.

THERE was a banner in the Kop on Sunday announcing “we’re supporting the manager as always”. Fair enough.

He has had to adapt to a new city, very different to the London he was used to. Recently he has been Home Alone after his wife and kids had an extended stay back in Argentina; moreover he had several early weeks of critics carping at his supposed failure to get with Rooney, not to mention the ongoing brouhaha over the MSI affair.