I’LL tell you something, Maurice — and this is just personal advice to you — if Shatter thinks you’re screwing him, you’re finished.” So went a line read into the record of the Dáil last Wednesday by Fianna Fáil leader, Micheál Martin.

WHEN did Barack Obama cease to be homophobic? Is Enda Kenny redeemed from his homophobia? If some of the hoopla of recent days is to be taken seriously, then anybody who doesn’t favour same sex marriage can be described as homophobic.

Spare a thought for the gay agnostic teacher.

GARDA Maurice McCabe worked through Christmas 2012, from Dec 20 to St Stephen’s Day. Ten-hour shifts. Young family at home, huddled in the warmth of the season. That’s the lot of frontline workers. They put in the hours, while the rest of us kick back. The upside for gardaí is a holiday at the end of it, time to make up time.

Paul Kiely is a man who got around. He was a very busy bee in the charity and voluntary sector. Chief executive of this company; secretary of another; and board member of a third — all of which were interlinked. A man like that could do with a rest after his strenuous efforts, and what better way to kick back than with an obscene pension.

Why didn’t Michael Noonan just throw €6 million at his native city? He could have got somebody like Patricia Ryan to rebrand the city, going forward, adding value as she went, all the way to a performance-related bonus.

ELECTRICITY pylons are set to stretch out across the landscape in 2014. The issue is embedded in the political culture of this country.

This column was flummoxed last week when a package arrived all the way from 2014.

LADS, for the love of God, is there any chance at all that you might come back to us? We’ve been on our own now for a week, and things have been going steadily downhill.

ON Dec 7, 2007, Jim Nugent told the Mahon Tribunal, under oath, that he had been involved in a whip-around for Bertie Ahern.