I know nothing about anything, so this is probably all wrong. But here goes anyway. Think of it like I’m on a swap site giving away something for free.

If I obey the rules I’m either an eejit or I don’t kill someone. If I don’t I’m a legend or I could kill someone.

This week, 21 years ago, on a sweltering hot evening I got off a train in New Orleans. It was the end of the first leg of a train trip around the States after my J1 visa summer in New York. The youth hostel I was staying at was on Carondelet Street.

I’m not saying they need a team-building day at Trabolgan but something needs to change.

Colm O'Regan's first gig since lockdown included mics in sterilised bags, green rooms and - for the first time in a while -adrenaline 

It's not good enough to learn new skills these days, you need to let others know you have them via social media

The hotel buffet breakfast: It’s often on a list of Important Things That Were Lost During the Pandemic. I’m here to say: Don’t despair. I understand why people mourn it. The buffet was that magical of things. Free, and unlimited.

It’s 10. 30pm. My wife, the eldest, and I are huddled in blustery darkness in the front of the car, eating a McDonald's at Exit 8 while the youngest snores in the back. We are having a Whale of a Time.

After the longest summer holidays in recent history, kids are getting ready to don their uniforms again

My father went to London a few times in the 1980s to visit his sister. It was a very 1980s holiday. He went on behalf of the family. But London was far enough. He brought back exotic items.