"Essentially, I just want to be Leonardo Da Vinci, travelling from one unscrupulous fabulously wealthy Italian patron to another producing great work, never letting the moss grow under my feet..."

I hereby declare this new folder on my laptop called '2024' open! As usual for such a momentous occasion, we celebrate with the least imaginative of columns — Alternative Predictions for 2024

"I haven’t brought anything to the potluck of dullness yet. I may never do. I’ll just sip my tea and read questions about why do they use commas instead of decimal points in some countries, or what people’s favourite soups are."

"Let’s hear it for the gadget fixers. In a world awash with the hazardous waste of discarded memory of our memories, these people chip away at the expansion of the waste pile, once you leave them to your own devices."

"When we’ve stayed up too late watching a TV Show called We Can’t Find The Remote Control Before It Goes To The Next Episode, going in to check on the children is an admonishment to us."

Maps let you dream of going somewhere while staying put. The ultimate in zero-carbon travel

Let's make your choices easier with some AI-themed Christmas presents that, if they don’t exist yet, they should.

Us Colms are being pushed out of our habitats by Calum — or constantly mispronounced as Colin, Cullen, or Colon (always a pain in the hole when I hear that)

"Every so often you turn on the telly and there’s a new one. A TG4 children’s channel, great! How long has Sky News been there? Another TV3 one arrived a while ago. TV3 Four."

"I love the whole ceremony. It is VERY cute when a very small human knocks at your door and then forgets their lines."