"...me being a foreigner in his country gives me a sort of below-deck-on-the-Titanic appeal. The ‘manic paddy dream girl’ effect, as I like to call it..."

"The pandemic has been awful for a lot of reasons, but it has been a columnist’s dream. For once, everyone in both England and Ireland was going through the exact same thing at the exact same time."

"Facebook Marketplace is a goldrush town"

— a vomiting cat, no turkey (twice!), and a boyfriend with norovirus plus a 'three hours of farting' video

— right now, we’re in a phase of playing video games, haggling on Facebook Marketplace for used furniture, and getting through

"This time, it’s not about our own personal mental health. It’s everybody else’s."

I am tits-deep in the mess of human life — I am moving house

Here’s Caroline's advice for getting into writing a novel

"It was the kind of long, slow, teenage mooching that seems to exist in a different time zone."

my new test teaser