Listen sisters, I know as well as anyone that matriarchies are a hopeless fantasy. But the hysteria around McGregor v Mayweather? Seriously? How the hell do men rule the world?
Before I kick-start this rant, let it be known that I have no objection in principle to a good sporting spectacle. (‘Good’ and ‘sporting’ are the relevant words in this context.)
I watched as the two converged on a press conference in Las Vegas and, despite Moses’ no-show, their almost exclusively male fanbase parted like the Red Sea, with a kind of awe and wonder one might expect for the Second Coming but not for two guys gearing up for a cock-fight.
Gentlemen, lest it has escaped your attention, neither of these two brawlers can walk on water. They are not presidential candidates. Neither has reinvented the wheel. If we drill down to the core of their business, one is handy at takedowns and chokes in a cage. Let me tell you, there was once a nightclub in Cork where takedowns in a cage were de rigueur any night of the week.
The other chap is essentially the boxing equivalent of supermodel Linda Evangelista. Although to be fair to Linda — she was cheap — it only took €10,000 to get her out of bed. Enticing Floyd out of retirement took a nine-figure sum. (Grr... that gender pay gap!).
When you think that the estimated purse — €360m — was the exact sum given by France to Mali to rebuild its war-torn northern region — you gotta’ ask — for whom is this money well spent?
The answer is the networks, the bookies, the sponsors, McGregor, Mayweather and their vast backroom teams and all those men who know full well that nothing is worth that purse.
Still, they do it in the wisdom that there are endless saps (male) out there willing to pay thousands for the privilege of seeing two men knock fifty shades of shite out of each other in the T-Mobile Arena in the early hours of tomorrow morning.
They do it knowing they will recoup the purse through the millions made through pay-per-view, priced at, oh, you know, whatever. Pluck a figure.
They do it knowing that it’s a con — a UFC star who’s never gone a round in professional boxing and a professional boxer, former five division world champion, who hasn’t lost a fight in the last 49.
I used to like soccer before transfer fees exceeded the budgets of small nations.
Now I see it as a game controlled by men and their abacuses’ in board rooms. The same principles apply here.
I’m no Amazonian survivalist — I have no objection to guys who want to rustle up my dinner in the outback.
Nor do I want to indulge in sentimental gender propaganda. But seriously — in what alternate universe is the prospect of a 10-second punch-up worth losing the run of oneself?
“He needs to be put to sleep,” said McGregor of Mayweather. “He will wake up a better man”. There are many for whom such a sleep would benefit in this lunatic circus.