Cliffhanger British general election finale fails to produce a winner

IT was a result worthy of the most extraordinary British general election for a generation – everybody lost.

British prime ministers are officially described as being first among equals, Gordon Brown is now reduced to being first among losers.

A helter-skelter campaign that was accused of turning British politics into little more than a Simon Cowell spectacular produced a cliffhanger game show finale – Britain’s Got Balance – as the X factor vote proved inconclusive and Mr Brown was left dancing on (thin) ice.

As befits such an upside down election, Tory leader David Cameron came closest to winning, but in reality, he is the biggest loser.

Despite the backdrop of the worst economic slump for 80 years, a self-destructing prime minister and an adoring, fawning media he could still not seal the deal with the British people.

The public clearly thought Mr Cameron has something of the Right about him and was not prepared for a return to neo-Thatcherism.

Which all leaves Nick Clegg as the would-be king-maker even though the hysteria of Cleggmania withered with the tally of lost Lib Dem seats – and with them drained away the moral authority to dictate terms as the long and winding election night wore on.

The North, for so long dismissed as the Siberia of British politics, is now its red hot centre, unionist and nationalist votes determining who remains in Downing Street – just as they did in the days of Gladstone and Disraeli.

Britain’s bizarre electoral system is not supposed to work like this. Britain wanted to get rid of Gordon but didn’t warm to Dave, and quickly grew sick of Nick, leaving experts predicting there will be another election in October.