Cries of ‘nothing new’ as manifesto fails to excite

CYNICS would say “we’ve heard it all before” as they listened to the prime minister singing the praises of Labour’s general election manifesto launched in the new — and as yet unopened — Queen Elizabeth Hospital, Birmingham yesterday.

It was not a wildly exciting occasion. There were no high-kicking majorettes, rolls of drums or fanfares as Gordon Brown, sporting a pinkish-violet tie, told the party faithful, in tones as sober as his suit, that this manifesto was all about the future.

And judging by the fact that there was an unusually large number of purple ties among the audience, one must assume this is the new colour for Labour and that, in Labour’s terms, the future is purple.

If this is indeed the case, then the political eggheads who thought this up may have omitted to take the elementary step of checking the dictionary definition of purple: “A dark colour that reflects very little light.”

Most of what the prime minister had to say had, indeed, been heard before.

The contents of the manifesto had already been comprehensively and profusely leaked so there was very little new to say at all.

Even so, the audience — or at least the part that was not the media — clapped dutifully, although not enthusiastically, from time to time and in the right places. His listeners twice stood up to acknowledge his words although it looked more like a forced rather than a spontaneous gesture. It was a case of standing, but without much ovation.

“I have become more, not less, optimistic about the future of Britain,” Mr Brown said. “Our manifesto is written not in the past tense, but the future tense.

“We are in the future business and under my leadership we will always be in the future business.”

He also promised a bigger middle class under Labour, implying that a Labour government will frown on the current habit of referring to the middle class only in terms of contempt.

“We are all middle class now, and proud of it,” he might have said.

Meanwhile, nagging questions of a possible rise in VAT will not go away. The Prime Minister insisted all its plans were costed on the basis of no increase in VAT which, as some people pointed out, was not quite the same thing as saying there would be no increase.

There were no cries of rapture as the prime minister unveiled — or rather confirmed — the contents of the manifesto, just an atmosphere of satisfaction.

Even so, Nick Robinson, the BBC’s political editor, rather spoiled the party when, after raising a few pertinent points, he inquired of the manifesto: “Is it worth the paper it is written on?”