Curbside Consultation of Colon not odd enough to win book title award

A BOOK on the future of tiny pots of fromage frais was yesterday crowned as having the strangest title of the year.

The 2009-2014 World Outlook for 60-milligram Containers of Fromage Frais by Professor Philip M Parker scooped The Diagram Prize for oddest book title of the year.

Baboon Metaphysics by Dorothy L Cheney and Robert M Seyfarth came in second place, and Curbside Consultation of the Colon by Brooks D Cash in third.

Previous winners of the annual prize, run by the Bookseller magazine, include: How to S**t in the Woods: An Environmentally Sound Approach to a Lost Art; Bombproof Your Horse; and People Who Don’t Know They’re Dead: How They Attach Themselves to Unsuspecting Bystanders and What To Do About It.

Horace Bent, who runs the competition, said: “Given that three times in the 21st century the public have crowned somewhat vulgar titles the winner (High Performance Stiffened Structures, Living With Crazy Buttocks and, most recently, If You Want Closure In Your Relationship, Start With Your Legs), I assumed that either Strip And Knit With Style or Curbside Consultation of the Colon would pick up the 2008 award.

“But I’m thrilled that the public steered clear of smut and bestowed the ‘odd title’ crown on Prof Parker’s worthy winner, and turned the supermarket chiller into the Petri dish of literary innovation.”

The competition organisers came up with a shortlist of six titles, which was then put to an internet vote to find the winner.

Philip Stone, from the Bookseller, said the winner was a “fitting champion”.

He said: “What does the future hold for these items? Well, given that fromage frais normally comes in 60g containers, not 60mg, one would assume that the world outlook for 0.06gm containers of fromage frais is pretty bleak. But I’m not willing to pay £795 (e850) to find out.”

The other titles in the shortlist were Strip And Knit With Style by Mark Hordyszynski, which came fourth, The Large Sieve And Its Applications by Emmanuel Kowalski in fifth and Techniques For Corrosion Monitoring by Lietai Yang in sixth.

Mr Bent added: “The fact that this book has been crowned the winner just goes to show how creative and diverse the publishing world is today. And, perhaps, how important a copy editor is.”