Jungle cakewalk ends in celebrity ‘kidnapping’

CELEBRITIES, ex-Dollar singer David Van Day and TV presenter Timmy Mallett were “kidnapped” on their way into the jungle.

Mallett spied a cake on the jungle floor — and after bending over to pick it up he was swept up into the trees in a giant net.

Screaming and shouting, Mallett was caught in the net and unable to escape.

Soon he heard someone walking through the jungle.

“Who’s there?” he called. “You’ve got to help me. I feel like the child catcher in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.”

Van Day appeared, saying: “I’ve seen everything now.

But as he shouted smugly, a second net closed in and swooshed him up off the jungle floor and into the trees to join Mallett.

“I’ll get you Mallet, you prat,” he shouted.

Van Day added: “I came in thinking this was going to be easy. Listen, I wouldn’t have left you there.”

Cages were then constructed on the jungle floor below the two captives and they were lowered into them to await their fate.

Martina Navratilova was given instructions which she read to the camp.

“There are two new campmates being held captive in the jungle. They will be in prison until morning. You have the ability to ease their situation but only if certain demands are met. Await further instruction.”

Accompanying the instructions were Polaroid snaps of the hapless pair.

The camp were left with a dilemma — whether to pay to get them out.

Meanwhile Esther Rantzen revealed: “I didn’t have sex with anyone until I was 23.”

Camp mates sang Happy Birthday to McLean who had nicknamed them “Pinky and Perky”.

Robert Kilroy-Silk said he felt “victimised” being picked for the Bush Tucker Trial a second time.

The ordeal, named John T-revolting involved being encased in a Perspex suit split into six compartments, two legs, two arms, the torso and the head and jungle creatures would be added to each compartment.

Each compartment was worth either one or two stars and to win all 10 he would have to endure the suit for 10 minutes.