Russians slam Bond girl for ‘sleeping with the enemy’

IF Daniel Craig thought he had problems dealing with 007 critics, erstwhile fans and know-it-all Fleming buffs, wait till the St Petersburg communists get a hold of him.

Cold war thriller writers have been guilty in the past of blurring the lines between fact and fiction, but now one group of Russians with a grá for the intrigue-ridden past are taking it a bit further.

Angry with their compatriot Olga Kurylenko, a Bond girl in the latest 007 flick, they have condemned her for aiding and abetting “the killer of hundreds of Soviet people and their allies” over the years. That’s James Bond, by the way, a man who would be about 80 by now.

That’s if he was real, of course, a point which seems to have been missed by the zealous cold warmongers.

However, redemption is on offer for Kurylenko — James Bond’s love interest in A Quantum of Solace — should she live up to the actions of some of her Bond girl predecessors, and turn in the hard-living spy.

Otherwise, the future is grim for the Ukrainian-born actress who stands accused in St Petersburg of helping “a man who worked for decades under the orders of Thatcher and Reagan to destroy the USSR”.

Little did we know that Ian Fleming was the principal author of the city’s history curriculum. Little did we know, either, of Margaret Thatcher and the late Ronald Reagan’s talents as film directors.

“Let him tell what other plans are being written in the Pentagon and Hollywood to discredit Russia and drive a wedge between the Russian and Ukrainian peoples,” said the Communists in a statement.

The words extraordinary rendition were not used, but it may be advisable for the, ahem, actor to holiday away from the city formerly known as Leningrad for the next few summers.

The Communist Party remains the second-largest grouping in the Russian parliament but the St Petersburg branch is regarded as a breakaway faction — continuity communists, in a way.

According to party leader Sergei Malinkovich, the CIA and MI6 are involved in the financing of James Bond films as “a special operation of psychological warfare” against Ukraine and Russia.

“This Ukrainian girl sleeps with Bond and that means that Ukraine is sleeping with the West,” he said.

“The Soviet Union educated you, cared for you and brought you up for free but no one suspected that you would commit this act of intellectual and moral betrayal,” said the communists in their very own, “Et tu, Olga?” moment.

Coming soon: Batt O’Keeffe slams Cork traitor Jonathan Rhys Meyers for defending the future of the British monarchy in The Tudors.