5,000 calls for help from abused men

A SUPPORT service for male victims of domestic abuse received more than 5,000 calls for help last year.

"Some of the calls we get are worse than others but in every case the men suffer terrible psychological abuse," said AMEN founder Mary Cleary.

"Many of the calls are from men who are locking themselves in their bedrooms every night to protect themselves. Sometimes they have their children with them."

Ms Cleary said the physical violence that men suffer could range from scratches and bruises to stab wounds caused by a variety of instruments including knitting needles and screwdrivers.

"Many of the men who contact us are living lives of quiet desperation. They are living in awful relationships for years," she said. "We ask them why and they say they love their children and want to protect them and, in many cases, they still love the abuser."

And many of the tens of thousands of calls received by AMEN since the voluntary group was established in 1997 were made by family members, including the abused man's in-laws.

"We're absolutely stretched and cannot even cope with all calls we get," she pointed out.

It was Ms Cleary's experience working as a nurse that initially alerted her to the existence of male victims of domestic violence. She saw men coming to the hospital repeatedly with an assortment of injuries for which there could not be an innocent explanation.

Ironically, it was also her training dealing with women victims of domestic abuse that enabled her to see that the explanations offered by the men she saw simply did not add up.

Ms Cleary said she welcomed the decision by Mr Justice Paul Carney to jail Dublin woman Dolores O'Neill, 51, for eight years after she was convicted of the manslaughter of her husband.

The judge said toxicology reports were completely negative to drugs or alcohol and evidence indicated that her husband, Declan, 46, was asleep or disabled by the first blow. Mr Justice Carney said he was satisfied there was no resistance on the man's part.

The mother of two boys told the court she had suffered both verbal and physical from her husband but had never sought a barring order because of the stigma attached.

"I thought she would have got a lesser sentence because women tend to be treated more leniently than men by the courts when they commit a crime," she said.

Women who killed should not be treated any differently by the courts either, she insisted. "If you commit a crime, then you are a criminal."

Further information on AMEN can be obtained by phoning 046 9023718.