Lamine Yamal is perfect for modern times, like an endlessly rolling Instagram reel

Lamine Yamal is already the most extravagantly gifted attacking player in the world, the latest in that line of once-every-20-years talents.

Barcelona’s 17-year-old forward Lamine Yamal elicited man-worship from the internet with his performance in the Champions League semi-final against Inter. Pic: AP Photo/Emilio Morenatti

There’s always that guy. Never be that guy. Fight the urge to become that guy, to yearn always for the old, good, safe things, to feel headphone-panic and selfie-disgust, to see moral decay in haircuts. Except, sometimes it turns out you just are that guy, propped up in your easy chair, eyes blazing, smelling slightly of damp laundry, and holding forth on a theme as old as all human life.

That theme is always the same. You know that thing you like? Well, it’s actually bad. And in a way that I will now explain at great length. So here he comes again, that guy. And this time he’s talking about Lamine Yamal. Enjoyed that, did you?