Topping and tailing the campaign: the best and worst of the Premier League season
Arsenal's Declan Rice with his son, Jude. Picture: Mike Egerton/PA Wire.
Overlooked by the Football Writers in favour of Phil Foden, but Rice has had a bigger personal impact on his team. Arsenal have gained a backbone by signing the former West Ham man, and even Mikel Arteta must be surprised by the midfielder’s leadership qualities and the way he has dominated, especially late in matches when the Gunners really needed him. A lot of people mocked his €115m price tag, but he’s certainly been worth it. An outstanding season with the Euros still to come. ‘Rice, Rice, Baby’ is going to be heard at the Emirates for many years to come.
Bukayo Saka also had a strong case for this award, both players are 22, but we knew all about the Arsenal winger long before this season — and Palmer has been a surprise package. He’s scored a remarkable 22 goals from midfield in a struggling team, having barely played at Manchester City. A remarkable achievement and no wonder Chelsea fans sing’ Palmer Again, Ole, Ole ‘. He’s scored 13 goals in the last 13 games.
An historic four in a row, and his sixth Premier League title in eight years since arriving from Bayern Munich, Guardiola’s ability to continually re-invent his Manchester City team is unparalleled in the modern game.
This year’s team showed a ruthless, steely character to finish the season in outstanding form. They never looked ruffled. Why? Well, because ‘We’ve got Guardiola’.
The former Brentford striker has really developed under the guidance of Unai Emery. He was always the Premier League’s best pressing striker and always a handful; but he’s been far more ruthless in front of goal this season and added some impressive link-up play — as proved by his league-leading figure of 13 assists. Add in 19 goals and that’s 32 goal involvements — the same as Erling Haaland. ‘Ollie Watkins, de de, de de’ doesn’t quite do it justice.
This is where we need to hold our hands up and say we made a bad judgement when assessing Havertz’s transfer to Arsenal from Chelesa; but we are by no means alone.
The move seemed a strange one. He had been regarded as a lightweight, unreliable fluffer of chances at Stamford Bridge, despite winning them a Champions League.
But Mikel Arteta has brought the best out of the German who has been hugely impressive, scoring 13 Premier League goals and providing seven assists. As Gunners fans ironically sing: ’60 million down the drain, Kai Havertz scores again.’
Chill out, Man United fans, you’ve definitely won one trophy — and there’s the FA Cup final to come! Garnacho’s outrageous overhead kick at Everton in November was our pick for the most spectacular goal of season 2023-24. Nothing left to say, except: Viva Garnacho!
David Raya (Arsenal)
Gabriel (Arsenal)
William Saliba (Arsenal)
Manuel Akanji (Man City)
Bukayo Saka (Arsenal)
Declan Rice (Arsenal),
Martin Odegaard (Arsenal)
Rodri (Man City),
Phil Foden (Man City)
Erling Haaland (Man City)
Ollie Watkins (Aston Villa)
The toughest decision of the lot was one that is normally the easiest: Whether to include Kevin de Bruyne.
If this was a list of the best players in the Premier League, he’d top it. But the City man only played 17 games across the entire season because of injury, scoring four goals.
So, given we had already had to leave out Cole Palmer, who scored 22 from a similar position, it felt impossible to leave out Martin Odegaard to make way for him. Based only on season-long stats.
Otherwise, a large proportion of this team picked itself.
Watkins’ goals for Villa made him a shoo-in alongside the league’s top scorer Erling Haaland, whilst Arsenal’s defensive stronghold of Gabriel and Saliba seemed a no-brainer.
The only other complex decision was in goal; and David Raya may be a controversial choice. He divided fan opinion at the Emirates when Mikel Arteta signed him from Brentford and left out home favourite Aaron Ramsdale. But Arteta has been proved right.
After a slow start, Raya has kept more clean sheets than any other keeper in the Premier League (16) and conceded only 24.
Thomas Kaminski (Luton)
Antonee Robinson (Fulham)
Joachim Anderson (Crystal Palace)
James Tarkowski (Everton)
Rayan Ait-Nouri (Wolves)
Michael Olise (Crystal Palace)
Ross Barkley (Luton)
Morgan Gibbs-White (Forest)
Dominik Solanke (Bournemouth)
Jarrod Bowen (West Ham)
Alexander Isak (Newcastle)
You may be surprised to see two Luton players in the side considering the Hatters were relegated.
But Thomas Kaminski made 143 saves across the season and kept his side battling to the end, whilst Ross Barkley looked rejuvenated in
midfield — surely someone will snap him up this summer.
This attack looks really strong. Jarrod Bowen and Dominic Solanke both scored 19 goals, with Newcastle’s Alexander Isak hitting 21.
The Fulham man has made over 150 tackles this season, almost 30 more than anyone else in the league. He’s also top of the yellow card list with 13. Our Roy would be proud.
With a nod to the infamous alternative Oscars that ‘celebrate’ the worst films of the year, the Razzies, we pay tribute to the real losers of season 2023-24 in the Premier League, no matter where they finished in the table...
Manchester United fans, if you are a of a nervous disposition, please look away...
Erik ten Hag’s side could still sneak into Europe through the back door on the final day, but we have to be honest and say they have stunk the place out during 2023-24.
Goalkeeper Andre Onana has had to make more saves than any other goalkeeper in the league apart from Luton’s Kaminski, and that tells you a lot.
Chelsea were vying for this title too for most of the season — but ended it with a flourish.
The Blues were awarded this one by the media when they lost the Carabao Cup final against Liverpool despite playing against virtually the Anfield side’s entire youth team in extra time at Wembley. It was a little harsh at the time, and now looks even harsher.
Luis Diaz’s disallowed goal for Liverpool against Spurs. There are plenty to choose from, but Luis Diaz’s disallowed goal against Tottenham wins the gaffe of the year. The forward was judged offside by on-field officials, but VAR quickly worked out he was onside. The only problem is that Darren England’s incorrect ‘check complete’ announcement meant the game re-started with a free-kick. No amount of expletives in the VAR room could save the day – because it was too late to issue a correction. The PGMOL described the call as a ‘significant human error’. Liverpool fans called it something rather different.
Nuno Espirito Santo: We could pick almost any post-match moan-up from the division’s two biggest bleaters, Gary O’Neill at Wolves and especially Nuno Espirito Santo at Nottingham Forest. His ‘why only us’ diatribe after losing at Brighton when he felt an Albion player should have been sent off was like a comedy sketch. So, that wins it.
The former Chelsea man cost United €64m and arrived as one of England’s biggest talents.
Roll on a year and he’s a forgotten man — playing only 13 game and scoring just a single goal.
Here are the players who stunk out the season, regardless of their talent — and there are some big names on the list:
Andre Onana (Man United)Â
Casemiro (Man United)Â
Ibrahima Konate (Liverpool)Â
Ben Chilwell (Chelsea)Â
Antony (Man United)Â
Kalvin Phillips (West Ham)Â
Sofyan Amrabat (Man United)Â
Yves Bissouma (Tottenham)Â
Mason Mount (Man United)Â
Marcus Rashford (Man United)
Darwin Nunez (Liverpool)
How we judged it:
This team won’t make United fans happy, given that it includes, six of their players, and we’re ready for the flak. But statistics tell a powerful story.
Antony, for instance, managed only one goal and one assist all season. Rashford managed only seven goals and two assists.
Mount, as we’ve already revealed, barely touched the ball all season despite a hefty price tag — and Casemiro was a shadow of his former self, especially when asked to play centre-back.
Goalkeeper Onana made a lot of saves but also a lot of mistakes – and conceded 58.
They aren’t alone, however.
Liverpool’s Darwin Nunez made the list for so many missed chances and was joined by Ibrahima Konate in the Reds defence.
Ben Chilwell at Chelsea suffered from injuries, but achieved little when he did play — and the Blues lost all 13 games that he appeared in.
Newcastle’s Miguel Almiron, three goals and one assist all season, sneaked into the side having seen his levels drop dramatically in the space of 12 months (he scored 11 in 2022-23 from the same number of games).
But the king of the flops was the once highly-rated Kalvin Phillips, who got sent off on his debut for West Ham following a loan move from Man City and was barely seen again.
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