Becoming a José Mourinho tribute act will not help Erik ten Hag fix Man United

ANGRY: Manchester United's manager Erik ten Hag gestures on the touchline during the Premier League match against Arsenal at the Emirates Stadium. Pic: Glyn Kirk/AFP

There is a world, not too far removed from the one we live in, in which Alejandro Garnacho was not ruled offside, in which Gabriel Magalhães did not manage, like Catherine Zeta-Jones evading the infrared security beams in Entrapment, to contort his body around the VAR lines, and Manchester United stole a late winner at the Emirates on Sunday. We’d now be talking about the fine margins, about a finely executed smash-and-grab, about Erik ten Hag finally beating a major rival away from home. But in our world, Garnacho was offside and Arsenal scored twice in injury-time.

Results can be great deceivers – take United’s 1-0 win over Wolves this season, in which the West Midlands club had dominated the match. But Sunday was part of a pattern. The only away point United picked up last season against teams who finished in the top nine of the Premier League was at Tottenham, where they have already lost this season. And nobody could claim, surely, that United had played well on Sunday.