Jesse Lingard on depression battle: ‘Nobody really knew about my struggles. We’re all human’

Lingard says that rock bottom came in an FA Cup tie at Derby in 2020

LONDON, ENGLAND - OCTOBER 30: Jesse Lingard of Nottingham Forest reacts after Arsenal's first goal during the Premier League match between Arsenal FC and Nottingham Forest at Emirates Stadium on October 30, 2022 in London, England. (Photo by Alex Pantling/Getty Images)

The best way to sum up how bad things were for Jesse Lingard was that he had become everything he is not. The fun-loving, extrovert Nottingham Forest midfielder did not want to leave the house. The boy who has always embraced the ball and the game with everything he has did not want to be on the pitch. He was even drinking. Anything to escape the bleakness of his reality.

“I was on autopilot,” Lingard says. “I was having conversations with people and I was just like: ‘Yeah. OK. Yeah.’ Nothing would register. It would go in one ear and out the other. I was numb and I wanted to be in that numb state where I didn’t have to feel anything.”