Mad hatter stuff as a game of ball breaks out between the Abramovich Chelsea rumours
Chelsea manager Thomas Tuchel following the Emirates FA Cup fifth-round match at Kenilworth Road, Luton.
Roman Abramovich can rest slightly easier: The football club he is desperate to sell avoided having its value diminished by two cup exits in the space of three days.
Not that the United Kingdom's ruble-sponsored government has actually bothered to sanction Chelsea's Russian owner, who last night confirmed he does indeed want out.
As oligarchs go, Roman is one of the best it seems. Not only will all money owed by the club be wiped from the slate but all net proceeds will also go towards helping those affected by the war in Ukraine. Or so he says. We'll have to see how this one pans out but it seems a Russian has already done more to help than Boris and his pals.
"I hope that I will be able to visit Stamford Bridge one last time to say goodbye to all of you in person," Abramovich told supporters in a statement made through the club. "It has been a privilege of a lifetime to be part of Chelsea and I am proud of all our joint achievements."
The mark of a man with a heart of gold or one who knows he stands to lose it all unless he scrambles fast? Time will tell, especially as Chelsea, with a smaller ground than its blue chip rivals, may not bring quite in the billions he is currently requesting. Not quickly anyway, although Abramovich insisted he was in no hurry. "The sale of the club will not be fast-tracked," he said. A bit like the UK Government's 30-day grace for oligarchs to shift their money, then. Or Ukrainian refugees wanting the UK to take them in...
"You're getting sold in the morning," Luton fans taunted the Chelsea players as they warmed up at Kenilworth Road. This part of Bedfordshire, hardly a millionaire's playground, would relish seeing certain assets seized and dispersed.
After the small matter of quelling Luton's resistence in this FA Cup 5th round tie, manager Thomas Tuchel reflected: "It's a bit too early because it is big news. I can only think about Chelsea with Roman Abramovich so it is very hard for me - it has not sunk in yet. This is a massive change of course.
"It is big news and it will be big change but also I am never afraid of change. I will focus on what I can influence."
But as Thomas Tuchel pleaded in vain before kick-off — enough already with the politics, let's talk about football. Chelsea won thanks to goals from Saul Niguez, Timo Werner and Romleu Lukaku on a night when Luton led twice.
Only Antonio Rudiger and Mason Mount kept their places from Sunday's Carabao Cup final defeat by Liverpool. Kepa Arrizabalaga, the fall-guy sub keeper spot-kick misser in the shoot-out at Wembley, started.
Luton also made changes, reflecting the fact that they are sixth in the Championship and looking decent outside bets to complete a journey from the top division to the fifth tier and back again.
That didn't stop the Hatters from scoring in the second minute though, with centre-back Reece Burke sending a glancing header from a corner sailing beyond Kepa's reach. Chelsea, with Ruben Loftus-Cheek operating as a surprise centre-back, looked utterly stunned. It was Malang Sarr, who had lost his man however.
Again the Hatters faithful opened their mouths. "Roman Abramovich, he left 'cos you're..." Well, you can guess the final word.
Luton had to make a change after 10 minutes though as keeper Jed Steer fell awkwardly as Lukaku charged at him and was stretchered off to give Harry Isted, veteran of precisely two Football League Trophy games in 2018, a taste of the big time.
Saul tested him with a header. Dan Potts did the same to Kepa at the other end before Chelsea levelled through Saul's 27th-minute power slot from the edge of the box. It was the on-loan Atletico Madrid midfielder's first Chelsea goal.
Isted made fine stops to deny Saul, Kenedy, Mason Mount and Lukaku before Luton stunned the Champions League holders again.
Harry Cornick raced on to Carlos Mendes Gomes' loft over the defence and the flag stayed down as the boyhood Chelsea fan poked past Kepa five minutes before the break. Sarr had stepped up only to regret it.
Loftus-Cheek headed wide early in the second period before Christian Pulisic and youngster Harvey Vale were brought on after the hour mark. Mount's shank on to a corrugated roof did not suggest a comeback was imminent but Werner had other ideas.
The German took down Loftus-Cheek's loft over Burke and calmly slotted past Isted on the 69th minute.
Luton were running on fumes and Lukaku stuck out a leg to divert home Werner's ball across the box in the 79th minute.
The FA Cup last eight and probable progress in the Champions League knockout stages lies before Chelsea. But after that, who knows?
"It was difficult in terms of the circumstances, a huge difference, you come from Wembley, the Carabao Cup final on Sunday, and then we gave the players a well-deserved day off," Tuchel added.
"Then you have one day to turn around your mind in a new challenge. We also had a lot of players out so more or less no more defensive players, and a completely new set-up and competition.
"There was some noise today around the club of course, so it was not so easy to focus but we did very well I think.
"We conceded straight away but we had big chances to equalise, then go ahead.
"Then we conceded another one, the second half we stepped up and we pushed and were relentless but never impatient and we deserved to win.
"So full credit, we did not over-expect from us, and we played a very humble match, very seriously."
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