Allan Prosser: Only one winner in Chelsea’s Rom-com

HEAD IN HANDS INTERVENTION: The Romelu Lukaku interview was just about as clumsy as many of his runs this season. That it went down poorly with Thomas Tuchel was entirely predictable.
Just imagine. You have hired a bright new writing talent, busting the editorial budget in the process and plunging your already loss-making enterprise further into the red. But, hey, you have to speculate to accumulate, you tell the board.
Even better as a coup de théâtre, this new star originally worked for you as a junior before being bundled prematurely out of the nest to make his name elsewhere. Now he is back trailing clouds of glory. You can claim kudos in the “he’s one of our own” stakes while he talks sunnily about “coming home” and “unfinished business”. Looks like a win-win doesn’t it?