Referee abuse: 'I was afraid, I am a woman and I’m 5”3’ and I have two men towering over me, saying the most horrible things'

Nancy Foley, an experienced referee, reveals the shocking behaviour that she has had to endure

 

HARROWING new details have emerged of abuse of female referees, as amateur football stands on the brink unprecedented boycotts of the game by match officials.

This weekend 13,000 young players will not play matches after a number of leagues cancelled all games in solidarity with referees following a spate of violent and abusive incidents.

Nancy Foley (49), an experienced referee, today revealed the shocking behaviour that she has had to endure, including an incident when she was cornered by opposing male managers who then subjected her to a devastating verbal attack at an underage football game.

While in an incident at the weekend, another female referee was subjected to abuse during a game by a man, who then returned after the match to continue a tirade against the woman, who has now decided to leave refereeing.

Foley spoke out against a culture of terror that has taken hold in amateur football, which she says is turning huge numbers of young referees off the game for good.

The mother-of-four revealed how a child in an U12 match told her that he would “rip your f****** head off” after she penalised him for being offside, and she told how an adult male coach screamed “c***” at her during an U12s girls game.

Referee Nancy Foley

She has called for meaningful action to counter such behaviours including Coach Education programmes to teach coaches respect, and to discourage children from believing such behaviour is normal.

“There is nothing new here, maybe just the amount of issues that are coming to light,” said Foley, who started refereeing in the United States more than three decades ago.

“The worst incident that I ever experienced took place in front of parents and kids, when both managers surrounded me and got right in my face and screamed abuse at me from both sides.

“I was afraid, I am a woman and I’m 5”3’ and I have two grown men towering over me, saying the most horrible things to me in a constant barrage of insult and abuse.

“I was humiliated, embarrassed and I was even too shocked to stop the match, I didn’t know what to do.

“I sat down at the side of the pitch after the game and just cried and cried for 45 minutes.

“Here I was, a grown woman, a mother, and I was unable to move because of fear or shock or a bit of both.

“Imagine having a job that you’re being screamed at constantly and subjected to such abuse publicly.” 

Foley believes that the longer term issue isn’t even about having respect for referees, she believes children today are taught “not to respect the referee”.

“They’re being told by their coaches that (the ref) is an idiot who can’t even get the basic things right, and that is a huge problem,” said the Ballymun woman.

Foley said that she believes that postponement of the League programme by one of the biggest leagues in the country, the NDSL, as well as the potential for the Irish Soccer Referees Society to issue a blanket ban may still not be enough to change the culture within amateur football.

Tony Gains, secretary of the North Dublin Schoolboys/girls League and Metropolitan Girls League cancelled the weekend’s schedule in solidarity with referees after officials threatened to withdraw their service.

The unprecedented action followed a number of serious incidents, where two referees were punched during games, a referee was called and threatened at his home, the incident involving the woman who was left so terrified she has given up football.

While the FAI have vowed to do everything it takes to end abuse of refs, Ms Foley believes the problem is engrained in football and only zero tolerance and re-education will be effective measures.

“Coaches don’t study the games like we do, there are no modules on the laws of the game for coaches, no exams or education and this needs to change,” she explained.

She has hailed the actions of League Secretary Gains, match allocator Danny Lambe and Ken Judd, the FAI appointed observer, all of who she said have been “incredible in their support and encouragement” of her during difficult times.

During the incident in which she was screamed at and called a “c***”,  Foley said she called upon all of her resolve to tackle the man in question.

“When I heard that word being roared across the pitch at me, in front of two teams of young girls under the age 12, I went over to him and stood beside him, in a non-confrontational way.

“I said to him: ‘Do you do know that this is U12s football, that this is a children’s match, and do you think that it is appropriate to use that sort of behaviour?"

Like the referees' body the ISRS and its branches around the country, Foley acknowledges that the FAI has brought in strong laws of the game, but that interpretation of the disciplinary process is inconsistent across the game.

Sean Slattery, vice president of the ISRS, believes that's what allows such behaviour to continue on pitches up and down the country.

“We are not looking for new rules or disciplinary penalties, they already exist within the FAI rulebook,” said Slattery, who is also the Dublin branch secretary.

“The rules are there, they are just not being enforced and you can see that with the abuse and terror being inflicted upon our members.”