Premier League talking points: Horrible, blunt, boring Spurs devoid of all ideas or invention

Ten talking points from the weekend's Premier League action

Manchester United's Edinson Cavani scores their side's second goal of the game during the Premier League match at Tottenham Hotspur Stadium, London. Picture: John Walton/PA

Are Newcastle now owned by amateurish clowns?

How ironic and yet appropriate that watching Newcastle is torture. With just one shot on target, they had just 21% of the possession of the ball, as Chelsea routed them. There is an assumption that somehow, splashing the cash in January will be an instant cure for their disease. But that is far from inevitable.

First they have to attract good players and there are rumours that some targets are resisting, not wanting to be tainted by taking Saudi Arabia’s dirty cash and not wanting to risk playing for a Championship club next year. It’s one thing to be playing for the club when it is taken over by an oppressive autocracy, it’s quite another to put your hand up to join them. There are journalists with inside knowledge of the club who report the new owners to be hapless amateurish clowns, who know nothing about football, have no experience, and no clue what to do for the best. The shortening of the odds on John Terry being appointed manager seem to be 100% conclusive proof of that viewpoint.

Brentford alarm bells ringing

It is usually as the leaves fall from the trees that newly-promoted sides who have enjoyed a good start to the season begin to falter. Opposition have seen them play and worked them out. They no longer have the element of surprise and after 10 or so games, injuries start to weaken the first team. The Bees performance at Burnley, who had not won at home since January, in a 3-1 loss which could’ve been even worse, should trouble Brentford fans that want the club to stay in the top flight.

They have been much better than the Lancashire club so far, were unbeaten on the road and had scored three consecutive away wins before this game. So a heavy loss against an always predictable side will have disappointed many.

Their next two games are against Norwich and Newcastle, the two worst teams in the league. They need two wins and a convincing performance against both. A loss to either, and the alarm bells really should be ringing.

Arsenal’s win was achieved by their goalkeeper

There’s no doubt things have picked up for the Gunners after their poor start this season. The form of Emile Smith Rowe is especially a great cause for hope. He scored their second against a Leicester side that handed them a two-goal start at the King Power. However, the second half saw the home side resurgent but denied time and again by Arsenal keeper, Aaron Ramsdale. He pulled off several fantastic saves, one an exceptional stop, keeping his team in the lead. The defence in front of him was too leaky and let the Foxes strikers in only to find their new signing stopper on top form.

Obviously, having a good goalkeeper is essential for any side to have any degree of success, but he won’t always block everything the way he did on Saturday. Much work still needs to be done on Arsenal’s defence if they are to sustain their current position of sixth, but a solid goalkeeper may well help with that issue.

At last there are signs of hope for the north Londoners … but for how long?

Conor Gallagher stars for Palace

Crystal Palace’s win at the Etihad was no fluke. It was led and crafted by Chelsea loanee Conor Gallagher who is rapidly becoming one the most exciting young English midfielders in the Premier League. The 21-year-old has been outstanding so far. He has scored three, provided two assists in nine games and has an all-action style and limitless energy that guarantees he’ll be a fan favourite.

Palace will be hoping that Chelsea midfield is impenetrable enough for them to have a chance of signing him up, because he is at the core of so much that is good about the team. It was his goal that settled the tie in the 88th minute of a game that saw the away team have as many shots on target as their expensively assembled opponents. Some saw this as Patrick Vieira’s audition to be a future manager of Manchester City, and it wasn’t hard to see why. His progressive approach this season has surprised many and delighted more. In this form, City will not be the only top side they put to the sword.

Brighton show bigger clubs the way to play Liverpool

It looked as though Brighton were going to be the latest lambs to the Anfield slaughter when they went 2-0 down but if Graham Potter wants to put himself into the frame for one of the big jobs at Spurs or Manchester United, this recovery to earn a 2-2 draw will have done his reputation no harm at all. In an open game which showed, once again, Liverpool’s defensive vulnerabilities, it would not have been outrageous if the Seagulls had come away with all three points. They had six shots on target to the red men’s three. A top-half finish is certainly not beyond them and, if they achieve that, it will all be down to how Potter manages his side on relatively meagre resources. This tidy, clever, and well-organised team is greater than the sum of its parts, and that is always a good marker for excellent management. They rely on their system for the shape and style of play and they don’t panic if they go behind.

Man United, take note.

Spurs are utterly useless

The season had started so well for Nuno Espirito Sanchez but since those first three wins everything has looked worse week on week. He may be sacked by the time you read this. They looked barely interested against Manchester United. The fans booed the replacement of Lucas Moura with more passion than their side had shown all game.

Their chants of ‘you don’t know what you’re doing’ appeared entirely accurate and the fact they lost the game to Ole Gunnar Solskjaer’s elderly misfiring misfits was perhaps the final humiliation.

A horrible, blunt, boring performance, devoid of all ideas or invention which looks rooted in an uninspired manager and an executive who has made some terrible decisions in the last two or three years. This 3-0 loss was little short of a humiliation and while the score was bad, the performance was even worse. Daniel Levy must carry a lot of the blame. His tenure looks well past its best-before date, but don’t expect him to realise that or do anything about it.

Solskjaer’s job safe for another week

It was perhaps entirely predictable that United would win this game and in doing so extend their manager’s tenure until the next loss and the next crisis. This week his ‘just do something’ approach worked after a formation tweak.

Cristiano Ronaldo had a moment of genius and scored, then set up Edison Cavani’s goal.

No-one thinks their manager is bad, just not top rank and this should not be mistaken for anything other than more of the same up and down from United. Their defensive vulnerabilities were not tested by a useless and uncommitted Tottenham side who contrived to make United look good. But for now, the pressure is off Ole and on Nuno. All the fans of other big sides will laugh up their sleeves once again and we all await the next crisis. It is no way for one of football’s biggest brands to conduct themselves but the people that run the club seem to have no courage and even less insight.

What’s the matter with Harry Kane?

His fall from grace continues with yet another entirely anonymous performance. It’s hard to work out if he’s just given up trying because he didn’t get his transfer, if he’s just temporarily off form, or if this lack of form is, at the age of 29, an almost instant but permanent decrepitude.

From hero to zero, it looks like his legs have totally gone. He can barely run and appears as though he is wading through liquid mercury when he tries to transition from the middle third.

This lack of mobility is allied to a loss of all positional sense and a clumsy touch. He has always gone through these phases in his career and it has often led to people doubting his talent, but this is the worst anyone has seen from Kane in his 350 appearances. Whatever is behind his collapse of ability, it all but guarantees he will not get his move to Manchester City next year and certainly not for £150m (€177.5m). Daniel Levy will be paying him to leave at this rate.

Yellow Canaries go green

On the pitch, Norwich City aren’t so good, but away from it they’re one of the most green and progressive clubs. It announced 13 green club actions in this significant COP26 week. 

This includes a kit, manufactured by Joma, made of 100% recycled plastic. Sustainable, unique warm-up tops to drive awareness of COP26 and green causes. Most vegetables for the first team meals are grown and picked at the Lotus Training Centre. Matchday Programmes and team sheets printed on recycled paper. Vegan/Vegetarian food in the concourse was half price for the Leeds United game. Plastic-free cups and boxes will be used throughout the stadium. Plastic-free water cartons will be used throughout the stadium. Water-saving schemes have been introduced at the Lotus Training Centre. Discounted matchday travel will be provided by local companies. Club suits are made with recycled polyester. 

They should be commended for such progressive, sensible ideas. I love the idea of clubs growing their own food; a positive thing in every way. If Norwich can do it, every club can.

Declan Rice is West Ham’s star turn

The Premier League fourth place is up for grabs with Manchester United prone to being very flakey. This could be the Hammers’ best ever chance of a Champions League place and they know it. This puts pressure on the team, but against Aston Villa you’d never have known. It is hardly an original view, but Declan Rice is so crucial to how they play. He got a goal and assist in the 4-1 drubbing of Villa.

A superbly controlled player with tremendous distributive abilities, he is at the base of so many moves and always looks to play it forward.

He was the supporting act to their opening goal from Ben Johnson and scored a peach himself. David Moyes is being widely praised — as all British managers are who have even a smidgen of success — and while the genuflecting at his altar often feels way out of proportion, he must be doing something right, even if it is sometimes it is hard to see quite what.