Eamon Dunphy: What made box-office, baby?

Larry Ryan's selection of the best moments from RTÉ pundit Eamon Dunphy.

A selection of the best moments from RTÉ pundit Eamon Dunphy.

The pen

The moment, after Ireland’s 0-0 draw with Egypt at Italia ’90 when a pen was thrown and a controversialist was born:

“I felt embarrassed for soccer. Embarrassed for the country. I feel ashamed with that performance.”

The Ronaldo fatwa

Eamon has suggested the second part of his autobiography will be called Wrong about Everything and maybe he should put Cristiano Ronaldo on the cover.

“Ronaldo is a disgrace… a disgrace to professional football. This fella is a cod. He will never be a player as long as he has a hole in his arse.”

It all culminated, inevitably, in the words: “I couldn’t have been more wrong about Cristiano Ronaldo.”

The Saipan shenanigans

He had a prominent role in Ireland’s football civil war, including turning up for Ireland’s opening game in the World Cup wearing Cameroon colours.

His passionate defence of Roy Keane saw him fall out with Liam Brady, not talk to John Giles, insult Niall Quinn and Rod Liddle and herald Keano with this famous epithet: “He’s a gentleman. He’s a class act. He’s a rebel and he stands up to bullies.”

The Litany of Saints

The likes of Bernard Dunne, Rory McIlroy, Ronan O’Gara, and even Lewis Hamilton and Sea the Stars, have crept into Eamo’s oft-recited litany of true sporting greats, but can we settle now on a definitive list of those who survived the long haul and set the bar for Irish success stories: Henry Shefflin, Aidan O’Brien, John Oxx, and Brian O’Driscoll.

The insults

The recent insistence of new RTÉ head of sport Declan McBennett that there be no more personal criticism in punditry may not have been good news for Eamo, for his range has been colourful.

On Steve Staunton: “Would you let him drive the train to Cork?”

Jose Mourinho: “A Bengal lancer.”

Steven Gerrard: “Found out. A nothing player.”

John Hartson: “That is not the arse of a £7m player.”

Harry Kewell: “He’s fat and a clown, Bill, a fat clown for all to see.”

Kevin Kilbane: “His head is better than his feet. If only he had three heads, one on the end of each leg.”

The spoofing

A long history of chancing his arm when it comes to facts was perhaps best encapsulated by the time Eamo chided the Spanish players for not singing the national anthem; a national anthem that doesn’t have any words.

The inexactitudes

There were the occasional moments when the cut and thrust spilt into apology territory, such as during the 2014 World Cup, when he suggested Neymar was “fucking dreading it” when he took a penalty against Croatia.

The kind of thing the late Bill O’Herlihy famously described as “an inexactitude”.