Tim Sherwood has developed an unhealthy obsession with his position as Tottenham manager and believes he could no longer live without the pressures the job brings.
The 45-year-old has been in charge at White Hart Lane since replacing Andre Villas-Boas in December but has had to deal with constant speculation regarding the post.
Under Sherwood Spurs have suffered heavy defeats at the hands of Barclays Premier League title contenders Manchester City and Liverpool and fallen out of the FA Cup, Capital One Cup and Europa League.
But the club have also enjoyed some memorable games under Sherwood, beating Everton and winning 4-0 at Newcastle – with a 5-1 victory over Sunderland on Monday night another positive.
With the likes of Louis van Gaal and Mauricio Pochettino continually linked with his job, many would be forgiven for thinking Sherwood was not enjoying his first venture into management but the former Blackburn midfielder has found it addictive.
“Any day in management is a learning curve,” he said.
“It’s been a baptism of fire, to be honest. It’s certainly one I’ve relished. My family are saying ”why?’ but it’s something that’s in me and I’m a winner.
“I will make myself ill before I don’t succeed. That’s the drive I’ve had as a manager and I’ve had in life and I’m going to do it. It’s been an honour to manage this great football club. I have enjoyed it. It’s been different. It’s an an experience like no other.
“Unless you’ve ever stood in that technical area and had the expectation of the whole football club then you don’t really know what it’s like to be a manager. I’ve enjoyed it and perversely I’ve enjoyed the pressure. I’m not sure I could do without it now.
“The worst part is losing. I’m used to the continual speculation. When you guys stop asking who’s coming in next year I’ll go and see a doctor.”
Spurs travel to struggling West Brom on Saturday looking to pick up a win to keep their slim hopes of qualifying for the Champions League alive.
And it is the challenge of taking all three points from The Hawthorns that occupy Sherwood’s thoughts, rather than the rumours of who could be lined up to replace him in the summer.
“I’m concentrating on the game tomorrow,” he said.
“I think those questions are not for me to answer. Its just for me to worry about football matches and hopefully trying to win the next five games for Tottenham. That will iron itself out in due course. For me to worry about preparing the team, like I’ve done this week. We had a good week’s training and we’re really going to West Brom on the front foot and trying to entertain those great Tottenham fans and get three points.
“The speculation has never eased since I came in. I’ve always fended off the questions. I don’t see a difference from the first hour to now.”
Sherwood will be missing several first-team regulars for the trip to West Brom with Roberto Soldado, Kyle Walker, Mousa Dembele, Etienne Capoue,Jan Vertonghan and Erik Lamela all sidelined.