Terrace Talk: Man United - Lukaku’s goals are so welcome even if he remains a doubt

Much of Manchester will spend most of next week heading in and out of various Christmas party hangovers. United fans may be forgiven for thinking we’ve started early. 

For most of last week felt like a giant post-derby hangover, including the two games we won. Sadly, unlike the best hangovers, we could recall only too clearly what had got us into that state in the first place.

There was certainly a fair amount of hungover grumpy moaning last night about United not putting on a show at the Hawthorns. Two-up against a struggling team, Mourinho sat back and ‘contained’ instead of turning on the after-burners, and we ended up having to endure an unnecessarily fraught climax. “Fergie’s boys would’ve gone on to win that four or five nil,” groaned a typical postmatch caller to TalkSport radio.

Some might suggest he’d been overdoing the rose-tinted spectacled egg-nog drinking; such occasions were much rarer than legend has it, especially in the later Fergie years. But you took his point. Mourinho’s United still fails to enchant or inspire, which is a lot harder to stomach when you can see the spells being woven across town.

That comparison was especially pertinent this past weekend, after City’s dazzling demolition of a supposed Big Six side. Reds who’d snuck off to watch the Blues on Saturday pub screens came home gaunt, some daring to share their shock and awe on internet forums. Pennies dropped, even amongst the most Red-eyed.

Once upon a time, in the good old late 90s when the Blues reached their nadir, we used to sing Pete Boyle’s mocking terrace ditty This Is How It Feels To Be City. Now we’d just love to experience how supporting magical football feels again. Some of us have almost forgotten what it’s like.

All that said, I’m not going to be a TalkSport moaner here. In the shaky post-derby circumstances, two fairly solid wins constituted an acceptable job, and Lukaku’s goals were especially welcome, even though the player continues to worry many Reds. His seemingly sulky non-celebration mode isn’t helping either. If you have something to say to us all, Rom, say it; if we want sullen passive-aggressive treatment, we can get that at home.

Now that that last sentence has driven any female readers angrily away from this page, we can talk about what we’re getting our other halves for Christmas, right? I’ve got mine a three-day spa break in late February, the dates of which entirely coincidentally overlap with United’s trip to Seville. Yes, let joy be unconfined; we got the last 16 draw many of us wanted, combining as it does an exciting novel venue with an eminently winnable tie.

Not that we are thinking of this season’s European Cup campaign as primarily a jolly-factory, I hasten to add. (Admittedly, that was how we approached last season’s Europa League — until, suddenly, we realised we had to win it). The draw’s pairing of Real with PSG has concentrated Red minds somewhat, because it means one of the sides we were relying on to help stop City in the latter stages will be eliminated early doors.

You may think it’s a bit negative, not to mention previous, to be thinking in such terms. But there you have it; such is City’s impact on our psyche, and there’s no point denying it. After all, lest we forget, even their dullard previous boss once got them to within a goal of the final. Lord, spare us the ordeal of being the ones who might have to stand in their way.

Before we meet again on this page next week, United will have played three times. Bristol City are waiting, League Cup-branded banana skins clutched hopefully in hand, on Wednesday, followed by Leicester and Burnley. European-style Saturday night football at Leicester will be an unusual novel filling between the very traditional white bread slices of a domestic cup tie and a St Stephen’s Day fixture. Not that anyone likes it, but then who cares what match-going fans think about these things anymore? Clearly not those in charge, hey?