Terrace Talk: Man United - Write-offs up and running after being ‘Mourinho’d’

Sad-looking southerners shuffling about in dribs and drabs were everywhere in Manchester city centre on Saturday. They already looked beaten, and shrunk under the catcalls of locals. But enough of Conservatives attending their Party conference; how were the Super Eagles?

I daresay that by full time, Palace fans felt like Theresa May does most days, although at least Hodgson can dream of better days to come, once they get their current batch of impossible fixtures out of the way. At the risk of sounding smug post facto, I think 4-0 was roughly the kind of margin many bullish Reds were expecting, especially after the relative heroics of Moscow midweek.

I say “relative” because - notwithstanding the fact that CSKA aren’t that much better a side than Palace - the United performance in Russia was clearly a step up from what we’d seen over the previous few weeks. And for once, we could talk about a game without using the phrase “but we missed Pogba”.

In fact, it’s two other Francophones who have stepped into the breach, with Martial and then - gasp! - Fellaini gathering the bouquets for their respective goalhauling displays on Wednesday and Saturday.

Had anyone told you two years ago that Fellaini would somehow survive and endure to be a brace-bagging hero of the day at O.T., you might have derisively snorted “oh yeah, and that bozo from The Apprentice is going to be the next President, I suppose?”

Yet José Moutrinho has always maintained some unfathomable faith in Fellaini, and even before the game at the weekend we were hearing that United were pressing him to sign a new deal.

As for Martial, who’s been increasingly splendid since the pre-season tour, here we have another player being widely written off for the gallows a year ago, now seemingly rejuvenated under the ‘tough love’ régime of our Portugeezer.

Step back a moment. This is the manager who had to leave his last job precisely because he was supposedly failing at the core task of man management, and who was harangued by most of the jubilant media on that very basis.

Now look at him; there’s barely a player you could point to who’s not visibly manned-up after a year of being Mourinho’d.

Naturally, José was groaning at the weekend about the forthcoming international break, as we all were.

Just as we are building up a burst of steam, along comes another cavalcade of third-rate representative rummaging in the bargain bins of football thrills.

At least Didier ‘Water-Carrier’ Deschamps has done us a favour by somehow failing to select Martial, leaving us with one in-form star guaranteed to return safely to club duty.

Of course, Manchester has had a brutal reminder this past week of how quickly team equilibrium can be threatened by injuries, as City’s Mendy and Aguero both suffered unfortunate incidents.

Not that it interfered much with the Blues’ display in London on Saturday night, a determined performance seen by many fairminded watching Reds as impressively resolute and rather menacing.

Those of us who had been wondering which of Chelsea and City would be providing us with our biggest challenge this season would seem to have had a provisional answer, then.

I suspect I’m not the only Red who is very glad the first league derby showdown is still a long way off, giving Pogba ample time to get back and up to full speed.

Hmm: being glad of having plenty of time before facing a potential foreign nemesis...we’re back with the British Conservatives again, aren’t we?

Although I think it’s safe to say that no matter the results in Manchester and Brussels, José’s going to be around for a lot longer than Theresa...”