TERRACE TALK: Man United - Benchwarmer Wayne Rooney is yesterday’s man

At last: a United home league match with a novel type of twist in the tail.

The twist being that there wasn’t a twist. (Erm, that’ll make perfect sense after a couple of pints.) United clung on and somehow failed to collapse into yet another 1-1 draw.

Frankly, one suspects we were all a tad surprised by this outbreak of game-closing quasi-competence. Let’s face it: the warning lights had been flashing. If The Unspellable Armenian being carted off on a stretcher with 10 minutes to go looked every inch the harbinger of doom, then watching Fellaini lumber on with 90 seconds left verged on the “asking for it”.