TERRACE TALK: Arsenal - A miserable Stephen’s Day as Southampton prey on our frailties

A St Stephen’s Day derby was always no less an integral part of my own festive ritual than the retelling of my dear old dad’s ancient joke about the kids doing show and tell in class after the Xmas holidays.

After all, his classmates have told how they wake up and open their presents, little Hymie reveals that his dad, the toy wholesaler, takes him down to the warehouse on Xmas morning, to stare at all the empty shelves and join in with their annual rendition of “What a friend we have in Jesus.”

I would’ve loved if Arsenal fans had staged a similar display at St Mary’s stadium on Saturday, leaving empty seats in the type of demo seen at the Emirates from Bayern fans, protesting at Arsenal’s extortionate ticket prices a couple of months back.

With such limited public transport, not only was it preposterous that the loyal travelling faithful were faced with such a tortuous St Stephen’s Day outing, but the farcical 7.45pm KO meant that for many this match was a non-starter, as it would’ve been impossible to get home.

I’m not such a sentimental idealist that I can’t appreciate the TV tail’s obligation to wag the football dog, wringing every last possible drop of return from their obscenely inflated investment in the broadcasting rights.

So it was that we drew the short straw on Saturday, with our match the last of four successive live broadcasts. Yet if we don’t at least attempt to make a stand, at some point, the TV schedulers will not even bother paying lip service to the practicalities involved in making it to matches (and home again!).

Frankly I would’ve been content to have boycotted far more than the first five minutes of this particular encounter. Standing out on the concourse would’ve surely proved preferable to the agony of witnessing quite such a woeful display. Such was the Gunners’ apparent languor that we could’ve been playing up until now and still not breached the Saints’ goal.

There might’ve been evidence that you can teach an old dog new tricks, in the tactical coup that Arsène pulled on Pellegrini last Monday night. Yet while it was great to beat City with such a disciplined rearguard action, in the absence of so many influential stars, it might’ve been an entirely different story if De Bruyne had found the net first.

Despite all the resulting media hype, knowing that City could’ve easily nicked a last minute equaliser, I really don’t understand how we suddenly deposed the massed ranks of Pellegrini’s mob as the bookies title favourites? Could this have been responsible for some complacency against Southampton, or were we subconsciously guilty of trying to keep something in reserve, knowing that most of them will be obliged to turn out again within 48 hours?

What was most depressing is that it didn’t take a particularly impressive performance from the Saints, but with only one point to show from their last five games, Koeman succeeded in imparting the necessary kick up the backside. Even at 4-0 up, the home side were still pressing for more and they could and really should’ve scored another couple of goals.

Anything less than 100% from the Gunners was always likely to be punished and I was left wondering if perhaps, in the absence of Alexis’ energy, we were left struggling to get on the front foot, after our earnest efforts to master the counter-attacking tactics that did for Man City?

I imagine that Shane Long must be an absolute nightmare to play against and Mertesacker looked like a frightened rabbit, caught in the glare of Long’s fully-focused headlights.

Having worked so hard to beat City and achieve the small cushion that meant we could afford to drop a couple of points, the criminal margin of Saturday night’s humiliation is tantamount to throwing away four points, should we miss out in May on goal difference.

Moreover, in Ramsey ambling back towards our goal, his apparent lack of concern about conceding a fourth, suggests that the good vibes from Monday have fast evaporated.

While Mezut Özil might well have earned himself some respite, I can’t help but wonder how the Instagram photos of Arsène’s golden boy went down with his team-mates.

It appears Mezut was sunning himself in warmer climes on Thursday, while they were stuck in London Colney, enduring the dreary depressing weather with the rest of us.

Did I miss the dictat from the TV paymasters for every Premier League manager to stir up friction in the dressing room that might guarantee even more unpredictability for our viewing pleasures in the New Year?