TERRACE TALK: Arsenal - A miserable Stephen’s Day as Southampton prey on our frailties

A St Stephen’s Day derby was always no less an integral part of my own festive ritual than the retelling of my dear old dad’s ancient joke about the kids doing show and tell in class after the Xmas holidays.

After all, his classmates have told how they wake up and open their presents, little Hymie reveals that his dad, the toy wholesaler, takes him down to the warehouse on Xmas morning, to stare at all the empty shelves and join in with their annual rendition of “What a friend we have in Jesus.”

I would’ve loved if Arsenal fans had staged a similar display at St Mary’s stadium on Saturday, leaving empty seats in the type of demo seen at the Emirates from Bayern fans, protesting at Arsenal’s extortionate ticket prices a couple of months back.